Unfortunate Innocent
by Coraline's3
Summary: Lilly has found happiness in joining with the Cullens but is confused about why she remembers a century she was never in. There is only one place that has the answeres. Volterra. Intertwined into Twilight series. Bella enters ch. 6.
1. Missing Piece

Hello everyone! I just couldn't help myself. I had to revise. I was writing a draft before and seeing how people would respond. It took me a while to truly understand what it was I wanted from these characters but I finaly got it. Besides that lame excuse, I needed something to do to keep myself from hyperventalating in boredom. The movie is currently filming and everytime I go on one of my fav fansites I see the pictures and freak. I cannot describe the hotness that leaks from those pictures of Pattinson and even from Stewart. I didn't agree with the casting before but...I am in full compliance now. 

Anywho, you will see many changes added to this revised version. It even has a bit of a different plot line for Lilly and she is not so...well you shall see. I hope you enjoy and do tell me what you think. I so love to hear from people who are just as obssesed as I am. 

* * *

I lay on the floor, my neck bleeding onto the dirt. Where was I? What had happened? I could remember only the face of my attacker, her red eyes gleaming into mine, her teeth sinking into my skin, her red hair like fire. I knew it was my time to die. I could feel it pressing over me, the fire spreading quickly in my veins. I tried to scream but could not find my voice. There was someone standing over me…someone dressed darkly. Was I to be saved from this torment? Or was I to die in such an odious way?

"Alice, take her home." The velvet voice whispered, but it was as if the voice had spoken loudly in my ear. I somewhat jumped at the sound, yet my heart remained silent. It was not pounding as I had thought it would. Was I dead already?

I could hear nothing more as I slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

I stuttered from my blank stare, extremely conscious of the pain that gripped every vein and every living piece of me. Was I still alive? Or was I burning? That was what it felt like—tingling, diffusing, ripping—with my cells smacking into each other. _God, save me!_ There was a ripping sound. It came from my chest, I realized, as I screamed out for someone to save me. There was a cold finger brushing my hair away from my face. I could not see…_Oh god I cannot see!_ I clawed at my stomach, my skin ripping up until hands were held my down. 

"It's in my veins!" I screamed without knowing to whom I directed it to. 

A voice came from beside me. "It should subside within an hour. The worst must come before the ease."

That voice…it was unlike any earthly thing I had ever heard. There was a faint musical ring to it as if an orchestra was playing for it. Providing it substance and life. With the voice my pain did subside. I felt myself again, felt my body forming together. My hand reached up to clutch onto the lapel of a jacket. The vision was coming back as my finger brushed against the material. The lapel felt so real to me, unlike any other material. My vision was blurred but I could see my pale white hand stroking the lapel like a loving child would to its father. I could sense it was a man, a very handsome man with the palest skin. How beautiful he was to me. How utterly astonishing. But there were others like him and I could feel it. I could hear their silence that stretched on as they waited for me to come to. It took me another hour to raise myself but what was time to me? I had no sense of it at the moment. My eyes adjusted but how glorious my surroundings! The air had a color to it, the world full with bright light. Each small piece of furniture was surrounded by a hazy glow.

Yet the people themselves drew my attention. Seven figures, all of the same pale complexion and all more radiant than any part of a human being, watched me with a stunned reverie. I blinked twice before coming to my full senses. Yes, they were glorious but they could not possibly be real.

I took a look at my hands and examined every pore of their fleshy material before making a decision. I was not part of the living but I was certainly not of the dead. An abrupt music was coming to my ears as I sought for my memories. They were there somewhere in the darkest parts of my brain. They had to be or how else would I remember how I had gotten here?

"Lilly? Can you hear us?"

Lilly…ah that was my name. I remembered then that I had a name. Of course we had names for how else would we be recognized? Names that gave us personality or, in most cases, names used as a calling card. Lilly Vespa. I could recall now. And my parents? They must know I'm here…but how old was I? Surely if I was above the age of eighteen I did not belong to their rules but if I was younger…

"She can hear us. Her thoughts have clouded her ability to respond." Another voice came to my ears. It was the velvet voice. It belonged to the person who had carried me here. But where was here? Here must have been some important meaning to them. A house, maybe? Home…

Sadness overcame me. Where was my home? Did I even belong to anyone?

I then recalled my family, my sisters, my parents…the people that tried to reach out but I pushed them away. _Too many questions_! I screamed to myself…or was that out loud?

An arm draped around me. An arm that belonged to a goddess of short black hair and fairy like movements. I clung to her then as an innocent child would. But my mind would not stop working around my past. Every second became a new memory and every new memory became a flaked piece of my heart. 

There was a shuffling of feet with a quickness I should not have even comprehended. It was too dashed and subtle for a normal human being to have heard. A whisper came then from the man whose lapel had been molested by my hand. "We should leave her be."

Back onto the table I thudded to slip into an uneasy state of unconsciousness again.

* * *

Edward watched the woman who laid with her eyes open yet unseeing the world. Alice sat in the far corner watching both of them with small flicks of her eyes. Carlisle had begged them to leave her be but as Edward saw it, she was in dire need of company. She needed answers as well, but Carlisle forbade it. "Time." He had said. "All she needs is time and it will all come back."

He observed her face. She was a woman who could not go unlooked. And her eyes…they seemed to hold a subtle grace when she was in his arms but now…now they were of confusion and despair. He read her thoughts as she said them and found that he was quite content in the fact that she was remembering all that had happened to her. Edward had felt something for this woman when he carried her to their white house on the river. It was not a love but rather a sense of brotherly affection. He could not understand it himself yet it was there and it was real. Alice felt it too. And so did the rest of the family. It was like she was some lost piece of the family, a piece that had fallen into their laps when they weren't looking.

"Has Carlisle decided—"

"To keep her?" Edward took a moment before smiling crookedly. "I don't believe there is any reason why he should not. Besides, since she is Aro's key component in his war, Carlisle is enraptured with such curiosity about her." Edward turned to his immortal sister who was not really his sister at all. But they were closer than any other relatives could be and that was enough for them. "Imagine it, Alice. The force that could come out of something so small. I don't deny the curiosity myself." He poked her gently in the arm but she remained still. "I wonder what makes her want to throw a punch."

Alice shook her head. "Don't. It is best if you don't mess with her. After all, we don't really know what Aro plans to do with her…if he plans to use her at all."

"What was it again that he wants her for?" Edward stroked her unusually stiff arm where he had earlier poked when Alice slapped his hand away and made him pay attention to what she was saying. 

"She's some descendent of a powerful warlord from the centuries of old and contains DNA that cannot be extracted other than the pure genetics." 

"Sounds like a science experiment."

"That's what she is."

"How unbearably dull."

"Not for Aro. Carlisle says that he has been watching her since birth." She leaned over the woman's body to stare into her eyes. Not the slightest recognition came from them. "Although I _am_ curious as to the amount of strength she is to have."

Alice wiggled her eyebrows, her smile brightening the room. Edward chuckled to himself but made no move to touch the woman before them. "Lilly Vespa." The words dribbled from his mouth as if he had always said them. His eyebrows knit together in thought before creasing back into a natural godlike composure. "I like Lilly Cullen much better." He leaned closer to her ear. "Do you hear that? Lilly Cullen. And don't ever forget it."

Alice took Edward's hand and together they left the room to join the others leaving the woman in a cloud of her past life.

* * *

A:N/ Hope you enjoyed. I do not own Edward or Alice or any other characters. I wish but I only own Lilly. Go to to see some hot pics and some videos from the crash scene. 


	2. No Time Like The Present

132 days, 5 hours and 29 minutes until breakind dawn is released. thanks to those who read and reviewed. keep it up.

* * *

I didn't need to ask what I had become because there it was before me

I didn't need to ask what I had become, because there it was before me. I could scarcely remember the gentle prods of the immortal beside me but I knew what he was. And the woman…she haunted me. If I had not known before…before this happened, I would have been terrified.

There was no point in even saying it aloud to myself. I knew what I was and didn't need to say it. And they would know I knew and we would carry on. But yet I felt as if I didn't belong.

Rummaging through the piles of papers I had found the document. As to what I was for, that was uncertain. But as to what I was to become, that was clear. I had skimmed through the first part of the page.

_Name: Lilly Kennedy Vespa_

_Age: 19 _

_DOB: 10/13/84_

_Sector: 7 Building: D_

_ID: 21139_

I didn't want to read about my odd allergies that pertained to the sun and various heat radiations. I flipped through my file, listening intently for the sounds of footsteps. I came to a page that held notes about me. It was written in a hand much unlike anything I had ever seen, something that would have been from another century.

_Notes: Under the protection of the Volterra. Strength unparalleled. Has had a lengthy case of depression and catatonia. Family traits: Eyes turn purple with time. Hair color of bark. Skin that of ivory. Position with family has been hereby severed as of 1/29/00 due to the command of her withdrawal. Has been placed in Sector 7 for physical reasons. _

The footsteps came then.

I shoved the thoughts from my mind so I could sit up without collapsing again. I couldn't think about what had happened back there…back in Seattle. The only important thing was to thank them and leave them…whoever they were.

My vision became clear again as I let myself down from the table. Standing was a strenuous task but I was able to move my legs without impossibility. The blood on my shirt was disgusting to look at and I was quite positive I had been in my clothes for a few days. What I needed was a shower.

The room was empty from what I could tell and smelled faintly of wood polish. I glanced about but could not find one speck of dust. I even slid my finger down the table and held it up in the light. Nothing. I snorted to myself in agitation. I then noticed how hungry I was. If that was what they called it.

That was when I also noticed the figure watching me in the back of the room. The black haired goddess that haunted me. Someone had called her by her name earlier…Alice was it?

"I'm glad you're conscious." The haunting angel flitted over to me with a smile splashed on her lips. "We were getting worried." She enveloped me in a hug and to my surprise I accepted it. I hugged her back because I needed that hug more than anyone could possibly realize.

"Alice." It was a statement of recognition, not a question.

She appeared to relax a little. "It's good to hear you speaking normally, and not in a scream."

I blushed. Or at least I think I did. "Sorry."

"Please don't. We've all been there." There was a pause. "Come. Everyone is going to want to see that you are with us now."

She took my arm and together we walked out into the hallway and onward to what appeared to be the living room. There was a widescreen TV that looked as if it had never been used, along with a stereo that was playing classical music. But in this room were people who had saved me, and as I looked to each one of them I found peace. They were all welcoming, inviting. Except for one beautiful blonde who eyed me, probably thinking me an intruder. But at this sighting, I didn't want to leave. It was an unexplainable attachment that I felt always existed. I had always, somehow, known about this world and I knew that I belonged here, with them. I received a hesitant hug from one named Emmet who, to me, seemed like a giant bear. From the one named Jasper I received nothing. He eyed the blood on my shirt with an irrevocable intoxication. All he could do was stare at it. Alice comforted him with her eyes and for some reason I knew it was because the blood on my shirt was from my human life. Like…like he had one drink to many and couldn't dare to be around another because it would unlock something forbidden.

From Esme came a kiss on the cheek, and the same from the blonde model of an antique painting, Carlisle. Rosalie gave me a curt nod as was to be expected. And from the one named Edward I received a scan of the eyes. He was studying me, making me a bit uncomfortable but at last he hugged me. An unearthly silence settled in for a moment until Alice jumped in.

"I believe Rosalie and I shall get her cleaned up before we go on our hunting trip."

"We're going to need a lot more than just soap." Rosalie grumbled as she glowered at me.

I bit my lip in a human way as they led me up the stairs and into a grand bathroom that I believed to be larger than my parent's bedroom. Into a shower I went and came out fresh. They had handed me soaps and lotions to get myself cleansed.

Alice smiled at me, and behind Rosalie's indifferent demeanor I knew she wanted me there for some inconclusive reason. Alice gave me one of her shirts that were form fitting much to my distaste, but I took it out of respect. She handed me pants and shoes. We were exactly the same size in everything. We even looked the same. Or was that me just flattering myself? I wasn't even remotely like her. I didn't even qualify for comparison to Rosalie. Her beauty was strength I would never posses. I thanked Alice for the clothes. Rosalie flipped her blonde hair in a sigh. I thanked her as well.

"There is not point in thanking us. How else would we get you out of those ridiculous clothes if you didn't have anything else to wear?" Flick of the hair.

My eyebrow rose. She certainly was a cold one but then again, weren't we all cold?

The hunger came at me again like an infectious disease. This time it made me wince and pulled a gasp from my lungs.

"Just a little longer, Lilly." Alice comforted me, patting my arm.

Down the stairs, out the door, and into a jeep we crammed. Rosalie and Emmet were conversing on an upcoming wedding they were planning—for themselves. Alice and Jasper were arguing over something indecisive. Edward and I were silent except for the distant hum of the car.

"Lilly Cullen." I whispered on my lips, trying out the speed at which I could say it. Emmet had made it so easy when he was arguing over what type of flower he wanted that I fancied a try of it myself. Edward looked at me with his gold flecked eyes. I stared back.

The jeep skidded to a halt and out I went with the people who had adopted me. Esme took my hand, leading me away from the others. "Each of them has their own preferences, but you and I shall hunt together."

I felt safe with her. In a cloudless dream it was. Further into the woods, which had suddenly come to my attention, we traveled. How had we gotten here? I mean, there were woods surrounding the white house but it had only taken ten minutes, if that.

"Any questions?" Esme's voice was a crisp bell of a beacon for me to follow.

"Yes. I have plenty of them."

"Good! Let's hear it." She smiled brightly at the prospects of me asking her questions like a child. Was it that? Was it she found me to be a child? I guessed in some aspects I was.

I took a breath and looked at her from under my lashes. "How did we come about? Are we truly…sons and daughters of the devil?"

She seemed indifferent as Rosalie had been only half an hour before. But upon her lips she bore a smirk. "Edward asked me the same question years ago. The best answer I can give is what I gave him. What do you think we are? You are young and new to this world, but I have a feeling you've dwelled on this before."

I nodded, the memories coming back. I would not allow them to take control or I would slip into a silence. I had to answer her question…but how? That was the difficult part. What were we, really? Had we been some evil demon that possessed a body? Or had we come from the punishment of God himself? I was almost certain there was a God. Or, if there wasn't, I had to at least believe to save myself from damning myself even further. "I'm not quite sure." I finally answered. She nodded once in understanding. The answer had pleased her and seemed to bring me more respect in her eyes.

I opened my mouth to speak again, but I couldn't ask any more questions.

"Ask me." It was an order. "You will never have another time like the present to learn."

"How did you all—"

"Not that question. They will tell you in due time, but I cannot."

I hadn't even known that she would know I would ask how she came to be but I was assuming things way too quickly to be natural. "Okay…" I blinked to clear my head of those damned memories of my own mother and continued onward. "Is there anything important I should know?"

She smirked at me and took my arm. "Our whole lives are important. For instance, the reason why we live in such a dark and suicidal place is because our skin is quite sensitive to light. We are prisms to the human eye if touched by it." She paused. "We can't cry either, which is quite upsetting because I'm sure we all could use a good sob." Down a hill we ventured until we came to a small clearing. I wondered if she had done this with all her children but then again I was close to assuming. "We never sleep and if we could I am sure none of us would complain."

No sleep. No tears. No sun. Life was depressing. "What do we feed on? Surely not humans, though it sounds enticingly splendid at the moment." Had I really said that?

"I'm sure it does. Usually fledglings are a bit rushed in their feeding process and need as much blood as they can get within their first few hours but you are different."

"Is it because of my strength?"

Esme paused, her back facing me, and her arms at her sides. "I suppose it is."

"Then what _do_ we feed on?"

"Animals."

"That would explain the woods." I mumbled.

"Precisely." She turned to me, another warm smile on her face. I thought of my mother, and how kind she had once been before her surgery. The kindness that she had was located inside her heart that had been taken from her. In its place was a cold woman who rarely spoke to me and hated me for what I was. A disappointment.

I must have recoiled from her because she had stepped closer to me and swept me into a hug only a real mother could give. "You are one of us now. They cannot hurt you…"

I held her tighter. If only she knew…if only she knew…

A rustling sound came to my left, my head snapping to the source of the noise with such a ferociousness that could snap a neck. Esme urged me on, letting me use my carnal instincts. I allowed my steps to be light as feathers, to be as swift as a ball, feigning my ears for any sudden movements. I caught the animal, to my surprise a mountain lion, and wrestled it to the ground. I couldn't do this! And yet there I was, holding it down without using any strength at all and tearing into its neck. The growls that tore from it grew fainter with each gulp of my suck. I was such a beast. A monster. Was this what we did to humans, ripping open the flesh (of course there was no fur on a human with a few exceptions to the men) to drink from their fountains of blood? This was murder. This was morbid.

This was unlike any other pleasure of the flesh.

I blushed to myself, wondering again if I could, and drained the animal. Esme tapped me up just before the heart gave out; it's pounding ceasing in my ear.

"Is this what I am to do for the rest of my existence?" I whispered in disbelief.

Her face had molded into a serene sadness that she only seemed to exuberate from her natural beauty. She leaned down next to me caring not for her dress that would be dirtied by the mulch. "I'm sorry that you weren't given the choice. We all understand it's not the easiest thing to get used to. But you have us."

"Why? Why did you save me? Why didn't you leave me out to die or to learn for myself? I don't belong with you…I have never really belonged."

She shushed me and drew me into a sitting position. "We saved you because Alice saw you in her visions. You are more significant that you realize, but more about that when the time comes. Just know," she had taken my hand and pressed it firmly in hers, "that you were wanted by Alice and by this family. We had decided it before making the venture out to Seattle to retrieve you. And beside the point, Carlisle is quite curious as to why Aro wants you so badly."

The name sent a ring in my ears and a shiver down my spine. _Aro_. I could not connect the reason for why it sent me a vibrant shiver, but there was something about the name that could not go unnoticed.

I snapped back to the present. "But why?"

She shook her head with motherly patience. "You still do not see. You were a missing link that we needed to fill. Not just for our own selfish reasons, but because Edward needs you."

"Edward?" Oh yes, the bronze haired man of a woman's dream. "He has brothers and sisters and doesn't need me."

"Brothers and sisters who are married and cannot be separated. He is lonely…in desperate need of a friend. School brings little satisfaction for him and the people…it doesn't help that he can read their minds."

I soaked this in and let it simmer in my mind. There were no real valid reasons for wanting me and yet they did. So be it. I would allow myself this happiness. "What are your reasons?"

Her smile was sad, a lost hope that could never be retrieved. "You remind me of a child I once knew." I was going to ask her more, but she silenced me from speaking. "Come, you need more as you are young."

Together we walked further finding a peaceful solace in our walk. "What are Alice's reasons?"

She hesitated, listening for things I could not hear. Minutes dragged. Was there some secret meaning to why Alice wanted me? At last she answered. "She wants a sister who is kind."

She had been listening for Rosalie's footsteps to make sure that what she said could not be heard by her daughter. "Jasper's?"

"Whatever Alice wants, he wants."

I was satisfied at this. After a lengthy time of feeding and much to my overwhelmed dismay of it, we headed back to the jeep. Everyone had already assembled and was speaking to one another, their words carried away on the winds. Into the circle I joined them and for a while we talked.

"You all attend school?" I had asked when they were deciding whether or not to bring me to their high school.

"And you will too. They all just entered Forks High School and it's not too late to enroll you as well." Esme gave a flawless smile.

"It is something to do rather than be inside." Emmet said, his eyes never leaving the passing forest outside.

"But how can you—"

"With great difficulty." Jasper had replied then with a look of strain on his handsome face. It must have been a great deal of pain for him to walk around, mingling with all of those beating hearts. I supposed I would never have to know because I would never feed on them. But…what would that be like? Observing but not tasting. Alice's hand was on my shoulder. "You shall be fine."

I wondered if she had seen anything about my future but I couldn't ask as we all piled into the jeep and they struck up a different conversation. "We're close to the border, Carlisle." Emmet's voice was a bit on the worried side.

"Border?"

Edward turned to me, his expression in befuddlement until it smoothed out into a crisp mask of explanation. "The Quileute's set a few rules for us a while ago. We aren't allowed to bite a human and we must stay off of their land."

"What would they do to us?"

His crooked smirk appeared and I wondered how no one could deny him anything. The moment I thought that, the crooked smile deepened. "They turn into werewolves."

I was not in the least surprised. Vampires needed an enemy other than themselves. _Mortal Enemies_. "That's not too hard to believe."

"Simple rules, really, if you don't have a problem with hunting animals."

The way he said "hunting" sent chills through me. "Do our kind," I paused finding the idiocy in my question instantly, "hunt?" Of course we hunted. It was plain for any mortal to think of, so why wouldn't we?

He nodded. "We can track quite easily…as long as we have the scent memorized."

"Or, if you're an odd one like Edward, you can just read their thoughts." Alice laughed to herself.

"Or, if you have the freak potential of seeing the future, you can find out where they're hiding." Edward bit back, holding his laugh in.

Alice scowled but her face brightened. "I can't predict the future when I want to. It comes and goes…unlike you who can read without thinking about it." They glared at each other before Alice turned back around and whispered to Jasper about something that I blocked out. I had been laughing at Edward, finding Alice to be quite amusing. Edward shot me a look of playful banter.

I snuggled down into the seat and quieted my laughter. "Sorry."


	3. A Little Show

Thank you "Duchess Norrington and Rave.Starr" for reviewing. Enjoy.

* * *

The next two days were more fun than anything I could remember. And I could remember everything of my past life, being that it was the worst memories anyone could have. I decided that becoming a vampire was my destiny in those first two days. It was my fate and falling into their hands was exactly what I needed. I allowed Alice to play with my hair while Rosalie focused on herself, applying makeup to put every woman who was ever thought gorgeous to shame. Alice held up my hair and shook her head. "How could you possibly have so much hair?"

"How could you have so little?"

Silence.

"It wasn't my choice."

I turned the fun conversation into bitter hatred. Great. Now she would never speak to me again. "I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault. You didn't know." She was an expert at reading faces. "I was in an asylum because…for being able to see the future. That's not something to be proud of in the 20's."

"Oh." That was possibly the most ridiculous answer but what could I say to that? Actually, there was a lot I could say because I knew what that was like. I hadn't been treated for craziness, but had been treated for my odd DNA. I wasn't quite sure why I'd been there…or what they were going to do with me.

They took me shopping the next day, and for the first time I had to concentrate on not wanting to take a life. I had taken lives before because that had been my job. Only now it was forbidden. I understood Jasper as much as I could in those moments of restraint, but I believe I would never truly know how much it would take to not kill them if I _had _tasted their blood.

Alice and Rosalie rummaged about in boutiques and shops where shirts cost two hundred dollars. I had never owned anything so expensive. Alice held up clothes along with Rosalie and I had assumed that they were both finding me clothes. But it was more of Alice buying me clothes and Rosalie shopping for herself, as usual. They were being too kind to me and what could I give them? Surely I had no money. I could kill to get money but they wouldn't need it. They had unimaginable sums thanks to Alice.

"You could give them a show of how strong you are." Edward said from behind me. I didn't know he had accompanied us, but the more the merrier.

"I hadn't. I was curious as to what Alice would put you in. I see she's found the black and gray pea coats."

"I don't mind." I mumbled. Strength? Why would I want to show anyone that? It was embarrassing. To show something so uncontrollable like that would only make me recall why I had become what I was.

Edward stood next to me as we watched the clothes pile up. "They are just curious as to the stories."

"Stories?"

"There have been stories coming from Italy that Aro is preparing to come here himself and take his experiment home."

The name, again, sent me a chill. "Who's his experiment?"

Edward wiggled his eyebrows. "You."

I was terrified at that moment. "But…but I don't want to go."

He linked an arm in mine. I had expected there to be warmth coming from him but he was just as cold as I was. "We will see when the time comes. Besides, you feel something just at the sound of his name. What makes you think that when you see him you won't want to go with him?"

I didn't have to answer. He knew what I was thinking, how ill fit I was for my parents. They weren't even my parents. They were my adoptive family and one would think they would shower me with love. But I was adopted on a whim to never really belong anywhere, to wander through life alone and to be miserable at best.

He bowed his head, closing his eyes. What was he thinking? Was he thinking how odd I was for asking such a lame question?

"Of course you fit in." His jaw was tight as he looked up at Alice who was moving with quickness out the store. We followed, neither Rosalie nor Alice aware that we were following them. "If you allow yourself to belong, then you will."

How true. I had never thought of allowing myself to belong. I was probably too selfish, focusing on my own personal needs than anything else. I didn't want to be that person anymore. I would give Alice and Rosalie a show…I would allow them to see what I could do.

"We would all like that."

I was becoming irritated. "Edward, can I ask you a favor?"

"Depends on the favor." He grinned.

"Stop listening to what I'm thinking."

He laughed softly, making a few passerbies' quicken their glances at his beauty. "Sorry. I forget that sometimes people don't want me to know what they're thinking."

"Thank you." I smiled to myself as we passed a shop that sold mirrors. I caught myself in a mirror, my pale skin of death peering back at me and my black, black eyes. I turned my head away and made us continue.

"Edward?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask another favor?"

"This show better be a good one."

I smiled wanly. "When and if you give me my own room, don't put any mirrors in it."

"It takes time to get used to."

"I've always needed time."

"Agreed."

Together we walked on talking of miscellaneous things until it was time to leave. Alice and Rosalie had stuffed her red convertible full with bags of clothes. That meant no room for me so Edward had to drive me home. Just outside of the open car door he stared up into the clouds. "Baseball time." Edward laughed to himself before looking back down at me. "A perfect opportunity for you to show us what you've got."

* * *

I have never been a fan of sports. In fact, I hated them. I failed gym in high school, having to retake all four years with the younger classes. That was going to be hell, pretending to be a freshman when my mind sight was already in college. But I wouldn't think about it. What mattered now was playing baseball with my family…._my family_.

My insides jumped at that. How wondrous it felt to be able to say that. Alice took my hand, and together we went to a large field amongst so many trees that no human cold possibly find us.

The game was simple. Everyone, including me and excluding Esme were on the outfield. One person went up to bat. But this wasn't a regular game. It included speed, quickness of the eyes, and as much strength as one had to hit as hard as they could. Perfect for me because…well…they would find out soon enough.

The rain pounded us, the thunder cracking with a vengeance. It was annoying.

"Why can't you do this when it's not raining?" I yelled to Jasper in a voice louder than humanly possible.

He grinned. "You'll see."

Rosalie was first, tapping the plate before moving into a leaning position. Emmet eyed her with intrigue but threw the ball without hesitation. At first, I thought it was the thunder. But when there was no flash and Edward went flying into the trees, I knew it was the ball. So much force she had used, so much agility. She ran through the bases, but wasn't quick enough for Edward who had already reached home base as she slid to it. He tapped her shoulder, her hand only inches from the white diamond. She growled at him as he smirked up at her.

Carlisle was next, his blonde hair stuck to his face, his skin ever radiant. I fell in love with him like so many paintings I had seen in art museums. He truly was something from another century and nothing could disguise it. He scrunched down, his lips in a line of concentration, his brows furrowed into focus. Alice threw the ball and crack it went. I was running then, ignoring the tree branches that scrapped my arm and tore at my clothes. I caught it in the air before it was even finished soaring through the air. Back I went, the rain whipping at me, my hair a heavy load down my back. But as I neared the base, Carlisle was already there, tapping his fingers on his arm. "Where have you been?" He asked with a sly smile. They all laughed and I couldn't help but join them.

"I'm learning."

"And a fast learner you are. It's your turn."

They were all on edge now, waiting. I tapped the bat like Rosalie and bent over. The rain was a sheet now and I could just barely make out Edward in the far distance. They were all spread out, each one of them a different speck of darkness. Alice threw me the ball and in one swift motion I hit it. There was a loud explosion, a burst of fire, and then…stillness. Everyone had banished into the trees looking for it. But it was no use. I was looking at it on the ground, its burnt little slivers sprayed about like confetti. I had hit the baseball so hard that it had exploded. Esme stood beside me and together we stared at it.

Alice came back first followed by Rosalie and then the three men.

"Wow." Emmet whispered as he glared down through the raindrops at what had once been their baseball. They all looked at me and that time I was sure I had flushed.

"Now I see." Carlisle nodded his head as he surveyed the pieces of smoked material.

"Great. We're going to need another baseball." Rosalie grumbled as she turned and headed off towards the house.

We all chuckled at her unintentional joke but they didn't realize that what I had done was nothing. It was not even close to comparison to what I could do, what they had kept me from doing. I was afraid to take Carlisle's arm as he held it out to me.

"I don't think I can..."

Carlisle touched my arm gently. "You can't harm me."

I felt reassured and so, without another thought, I took his arm. I would just have to take care and not hurt anything anymore. I would try. For my new family I would try.


	4. Monday

Thanks to "Joreyna" for being my unofficial betareader. Without you, this would not even close to _fantastical_. Thank you reviewers. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Monday. Alice shook me from my stare out her window at seven. "Time to get ready."

"Must I do this? I could stay here…I don't have to go out there."

"Just don't get close to them and you won't hurt anyone. We're still new to them and many of them have been ogling us with curiosity. You will refresh that curiosity, so we must take care not to speak to anyone."

"What's the point of going to school if I can't speak to anyone?"

She placed a finger on her cheek and thought for a moment. "Alright, you can talk to people but after a while you're not going to want to. They are a very dull lot, these people."

"I can decide that for myself."

But I already believed her. Just watching the people while shopping could have put me to sleep and nothing could do that.

I let Alice dress me. Grey t-shirt, purple pea coat, black skinny jeans, and black galoshes. She turned my hair into a messy wave and applied eyeliner. "Rosalie never lets me touch her."

"I'm glad to be entertaining."

"I just have too much fun dressing you up."

"I see that."

She snickered to herself as we left down the stairs where the others waited, Rosalie in her flawless red, Emmet in his perfect white sweater, and Edward in his grey sweater and black jacket. We did_ not_ look like freshmen.

Rosalie and Emmet went off together to Rosalie's red convertible while Alice, Jasper, Edward and I all gathered into his silver Volvo. As soon as the car hummed on, the music started, filling out the empty space. I sat in front with Edward as we zoomed along. I was on nerves, not paying any attention to the things Alice was rambling about or the random questions Edward was diverting at me.

"Lilly?"

I startled alive to look at them.

"We're here." Edward pointed out to the school. He walked around the car and opened the door for me. He didn't need to do that as it was drawing attention from the few people walking from their cars.

"I'm a gentleman, I can't help it."

"Is that what you call it?" Alice giggled.

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Edward bit out.

I clutched my vintage leather bag in nervousness. I felt like a new freshman though I didn't look it. I looked down at the ground before facing the school again. That was the first time I realized I didn't have a heart that beat like the people that walked past me. I couldn't pump blood normally. I was dead. A frozen replica of what I had been. Edward's hand was on my shoulder and Alice took my hand. Together we walked with Rosalie and Emmet behind us, basking in the looks our peers gave them. I was a mere curiosity, but Rosalie was their goddess and Edward was the God that ruled them. Emmet was beautiful, but from the look on the girl's faces, they all found Edward more handsome.

What did they think of me? Was I something of a wonder to them as well? I had their pale skin, black eyes, swift movements but…

"You are their new specimen for gossip." Edward answered my thoughts too fast for humans to hear.

"As we knew she would be." Jasper sighed, taking Alice closer to him by the waist.

"Come, let's get her enrolled." Edward grumbled, leading the way towards the front office.

The front office ladies swooned over him, listening to anything and everything he said. Whatever it was that Edward wanted, he was granted. How could he have such power over them? If I asked for ice for an injury they would probably ignore me. But, I would never get an injury. In fact, I doubted I would ever visit the front office again. Edward took a hold of my arm behind me and guided me forward out into the rain that poured down, locking my hair into a never ending battle of wet and dry. To our first period we went when I noticed that Edward had put us into the same classes together.

"You didn't have to do that."

"I didn't do it for you."

I hadn't expected such an answer and took offense.

He noticed it and went to correct himself. "I did it for my own peace of mind. I couldn't have your thoughts spilling over into endless questions only to drive me insane."

I agreed that that would be terrible but it still wouldn't stop my mind from churning.

"Yes, it will. You have no idea what it's like reading your mind."

"At least you have a reason to go insane. I'm going to piss my pants if someone comes up to me and wishes to strike up a conversation."

"One, you can't piss yourself. Two, no one will dare come up and talk to you."

"Why not?"

"They're scared."

"Of you or me?"

"Both."

I wasn't going to try speaking to them if they were scared of me. Who wouldn't be? _I_ was even afraid. There was this demon inside of me that wanted them all but…but I wouldn't allow it; their small heartbeats flapping inside of their bodies taunting me with each little flutter when they inhaled.

A tall girl with curly blonde hair passed me biting into a granola bar. It suddenly filled me with sadness that she could eat normal food, and I wanted to drink her blood for my own nourishment.

Edward's grip on my arm tightened as we entered the fluorescent lit classroom with stares that could pierce the soul. We hung our jackets up and both made our way to the front where the teacher stood watching us. She was the normal mom-teacher with short hair, no makeup, and worn glasses that she fidgeted with. I handed her my schedule and she nodded silently.

"Is this your sister?" She asked, eyeing me over with wonder.

"Yes, Mrs. Morgan, this is my sister."

She took a breath. She bent over to the desk on her left and signed the paper. She handed it back to me, giving me the once over before waving me off. "Right, well, take a seat wherever you like."

I liked the teacher already. She seemed like the type who was too tired to give a damn. I sat in a chair next to Edward and stared dully at the chalk board, unmoving like a statue. Edward pinched my leg making me jump somewhat.

"_You have to act like your alive or they will become suspicious."_

My head creaked around at him with a slightly open mouth. Had he said that out loud or was that—

"_In your head."_

How was that even possible?

"_Stop worrying about the possibilities and go along with it."_

I didn't say anything. Would I know how? Of course I would…just think something.

"_Bunnies."_

Edward shot me a look and shook his head. Luckily the people had stopped staring and weren't watching this weird debacle.

"_Why didn't you do this earlier? Why now while around people?"_

"_I'll admit that I wanted to make you go insane with voices in your head but I just couldn't."_

"_I'm so glad my innocence is amusing to you."_

"_Don't get so mad. I didn't continue with my plan, so be grateful for that."_ A pause.

The teacher's voice droned on until I spoke up. _"What will we tell people if they ask where I came from?"_

"_They won't ask."_

I accepted the answer and began to doodle on my paper. Edward watched me, surprised that I could actually draw. _"I learned it at the institute. Drawing has always been in my family."_

"_What was the institute like?"_

"_A jail. I would often stare at the walls, watching the spiders crawl down across the wall, twitching ever so slightly to see if I would smash them. But I couldn't because they were my only friends."_

He was silent, waiting for me to continue.

"_They put me in sector seven to see if I was of any use to them…a weapon almost. But I wouldn't allow them to touch me…I killed a man who tried. So they put me in an art class to give me something to do."_

"_Why were you there?"_

He knew. I didn't have to tell him it was because I had run from home after I graduated. That I didn't want to be with my parents. That _they_ had saved me from death and taken me in only to torture me with white walls and fighting courses. I was a lot like Alice, but I wasn't being punished. I was being taught to kill. And I still had no idea why.

"_Edward?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Where do we come from?"_

Edward shifted in his chair as the teacher looked back at us with questioning. Not one word was spoken since we sat down. Our notes were already jotted down and if she asked us what she was talking about, we would answer perfectly. There was nothing she could do to make us pay attention because it seemed like we were.

"_I think we are a mistake. Have you read Anne Rice's novels?"_

"_Yes…"_

"_The father, the mother and the demon spirit Amel."_

"_I didn't believe it then and I don't believe it now. Where are they if it's true? Where are the ancient ones?"_

He sighed so softly only I could hear it. _"Volterra."_

"_Aro."_

A nod. _"And Marcus and Caius."_

I couldn't ask any more because the bell rang. Off to second period we went, accompanied by Alice and Jasper. We all melted into the same class period.

"Where are—"

Edward placed his chilled finger on my lips. _"In the mind."_

We took a seat after I had handed the schedule to the teacher to sign who told me I could sit anywhere. _"Where are Rosalie and Emmet?"_

"_They couldn't pass for freshmen so they enrolled as sophomores."_

"_They like it that way?"_

"_They enjoy their space." _That time it was Alice.

"_I take it we can all speak in our minds then?"_

"_No. Just Edward and I…and now you."_

"_Why is that?"_

They shrugged. I sat silent for awhile, listening to the heartbeats and the incessant droning of the teacher. Aro's name popped into my head again. What was this creature like? Was he the father? Was he my father?

"_Stop with the questions."_ Edward scowled at me.

I scowled back. _"I can't help it if I'm a thinker. If you don't like it, stay out of my head."_

"_It's not my fault. Your thoughts overpower everyone else's."_

I folded my arms. _"Fine. Then I won't think."_

Edward shifted his eyes to Alice's. _"I bet three hundred dollars that she can't keep quiet for five minutes."_

Alice thought for a moment, squinting her eyes and looking up to her left. _"I give her three minutes. Deal."_

I was pissed at them but I kept my mind quiet.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

A sniffle.

A grunt.

Cough. Cough.

Two minutes.

"_I hate both of you."_

They erupted in laughter but it was too quick for anyone to notice. It was a silent buzz that made only a few people cock their heads to hear. Jasper even laughed. Alice must have told him the bet while I was concentrating on not thinking.

The next two periods were a drag. Edward and Alice knew I didn't hate them but they apologized for making a bet. Though, Alice wasn't too unhappy about it as she was handed three hundred dollars after class. Why Edward would carry that much money with him to school was beyond me and was a bit ridiculous.

We all sat down together at lunch, the stares burning us to prisms.

"_How long have you been enrolled here?"_

"_About six weeks. But we still send them shivers."_

"_Jessica still finds me her sex god."_ Edward glowered at no one but the wall, obviously hearing what she was thinking, probably picturing it too as she said it.

Alice and I glanced at each other before I allowed my eyes to travel to Jessica. She was short with curly brown hair and completely normal. I wondered what sort of couple Edward and Jessica would make before Edward kicked me. It didn't hurt but it certainly pulled my attention from the pictures in my head.

"Don't you ever think about that again." He grumbled it out loud, but it was a velvet whisper that not even the air could hear. I was enjoying my new sense of speed and ability hear things miles away when I wanted.

I stifled my laughter. He was so serious about it that it made me laugh even more, this time just loud enough to draw attention. My laugh was like a mellow fountain, bubbly and gurgling with a light intrigue.

"You just had to laugh." Edward scowled, his eyebrows knitting together.

"I couldn't help it."

"Now half of the male population of this school is in love with you. Even Mr. Banner."

We both shivered at that, but I admitted to myself that I liked the attention. No one had ever looked at me before and now that I had this new found beauty, I could possibly work it to my advantage. Were all vampires like that? So beautiful that no one could compare? I wanted to see someone with skin problems and a terrible haircut become a vampire. That would be a sight. How would they ever allure food? Or even find a companion. It was disgusting how high I thought of myself but truly; all the rumors were true. Every immortal was fantastical in their own way and looks mattered. I shifted my gaze to nothing as the pictures of an ugly vampire swirled in my head. We all were staring off at different things, having no need to look at one another. It was natural for us, I guessed.

The rain splashed against the roof of our classrooms yet again and I had the unfortunate dilemma of my hair sticking to my face.

"Could you possibly do anything else to attract attention?"

"What?!" I practically yelled at him. "All I'm doing is walking to my next class."

"Yes but with your hair clinging to your face, you look as if you just came from a shampoo commercial."

"And you, oh god-like creature, look as if you came from a model shoot where buckets of ice water were poured over you."

"That is oddly specific."

"But you know I didn't think about it before I said it."

He was quiet at that and so the day progressed. Just as it progressed it ended and off we went on our merry way.

"Tell me more about the Volturi." I ordered when we were sitting by the piano, Edward gently gliding his pale long fingers over the keys without actually touching them.

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's like giving candy to a child."

I sighed with agitation. "Is that all that I am to you and Esme? A child?"

"Yes."

He was in his no nonsense state. It was probably the most annoying trait about him, but then again, could I ever be annoyed with him? What, with his gold flecked eyes, bruised circles underneath his eyes, pale skin of an English aristocrat, and messy auburn hair?

"You have that too. Only your hair is the color of bark and in messy waves." He glanced up briefly, too fast for unsuspecting eyes. "Is it true that your eyes turn purple over time?"

I shrugged. "I was told my mother had it…but I don't remember my mother."

"What happened to her?"

I gulped, not really wanting to share this information as it scared me. "She was murdered."

"You think she was bitten." It was a statement.

I nodded slowly. "I have always known that they—we—exist." I inhaled deeply to talk in the faint wood polish that no one but us could notice. "I think that she was a failed attempt. That someone was going to use her as a weapon but she wasn't strong enough and died."

He smiled at me. "You're quite easy to talk to. I thought that you would only ask me questions and then never speak to me again."

"What can I say? I can't keep you from my mind so what's the point in not telling you what I was going to think anyway?"

He chuckled. "True, true. But you could ask me to stay out."

"But my thoughts are screaming at you, and I'm afraid it would be cruel to think things and not allow you to ask me about them."

"You are something else."

"So I've been told."

We were quiet, listening to the notes coming from the piano. He was multi talented. Speaking to me, listening to my mind, and playing the piano at the same time. A musical prodigy of the olden days.

"Are you calling me old?"

"Yes." I laughed that time, unafraid to let its full force come out. Carlisle popped his head over the banister to see who had caused it and smiled with a pleasant wave. He disappeared into his office to leave us alone again.

I stood to leave, not really knowing what else I could do. "Normally I would eat to fill the time. But, seeing as that is out of the question, I'll just go grab paper and a pencil and sketch you."

His eyebrow rose. "Draw me?"

"You're the only fascinating thing at the moment and with this light and your skin you would be an unearthly picture."

"You find me fascinating?" He smiled dubiously.

"Only slightly."

He barked out a laugh, but waved me off to go find paper and a pencil. I was back downstairs in only moments, grinning to myself at my speed, and nestled myself in my chair and began to draw him. I detailed his chin first, filling out the contours of his cheek bones, and then to the eyes. They were the hardest detail, but I was able to finish it with a skill I hadn't possessed before. Next came his tousled hair. That was easier than the chin. I drew him playing the piano, caught in an endless motion of time. Once I was finished, I let him stare at it for a few hours, amazed at the way in which I had captured him.

Esme came down the stairs, took one look at it, left, and came back with a frame. She forced me to sign my name and date on the bottom right corner before skillfully placing it in the black frame to hang on a wall where everyone could see it.

And everyone did see it. Rosalie studied it like an ancient artifact with Emmet mildly amused by the way the light protruded from his skin. Alice commented on it saying she liked him better in the picture than in person. Jasper agreed. Edward gave them both a deathly stare. And Carlisle wanted a copy to place with his other belongings.

"Lilly Cullen, our little artist." Emmet smirked as he rustled my hair.

I felt whole again. My past couldn't hurt me even if it tried and if Aro came to take me I would resist with all my might because, in all honesty, I loved my new family. I wanted to stay with them forever and there was only one thing that could take me away from them; my undying need for independence which had been dormant since my immortal birth. And yet I feared it would arise soon enough and devour me whole. I would be torn between wanting to stay and wanting to leave as was always my case. But this time, I would make an effort not to run, even if it killed me.


	5. Bonding

Thank u Joreyna for all ur help and all ur revisions! Thanks "Vilofied and Rave.Starr" for ur reviews. I appreciate it.

* * *

Emmet was right. If I hadn't attended school, I would be bored out of my mind. I reread Anne Rice's novels on top of the assigned books from school and was still bored. Even reading at a normal human pace didn't pass the time quick enough. But my time became more enjoyable with Edward always intruding on my thoughts and what I was doing. He was just as bored as I was and so, together, we did the oddest things.

One afternoon, a partly cloudy day with snow and ice, we both compacted into the jeep and made our way deep into the forest until we came to a clearing. We had all day and all night to ourselves as everyone else was busy doing their own thing. With that given time, we built a snow village. We took our time shaping houses, a grocery store, a clothing store, and even a mini-gym. Two-stories, sometimes three, they stood, containing furniture, frozen goods and cars in the driveways of the homes. It was a white world that glinted in the peek-a-boo sunlight. When the sun did shine, I finally saw what our skin did. We both stood in the midst of our village to cast rainbows on the walls. I was in awe of my own skin but that didn't change how I felt about it. I was disgusted with myself.

"Like I said, it takes times to get used to."

"No kidding."

Edward smirked at me, watching me in an incomprehensible expression.

"What?"

"You've never been this comfortable and happy have you?"

I shuffled my feet in the snow, my eyes glued to the ground. "Happiness has never really been tangible for me."

"Why is that?"

"Can't you just read my thoughts?"

Edward's smile was crooked and could make any woman melt, and I wasn't above admitting that it did just that to me. He chuckled to himself before answering. "I want to hear you voice."

"Is it different from my thoughts?"

"Your thoughts have an immortal characteristic. Your voice has a human one."

I shuddered at the word immortal. What a hateful word. I tucked my hair behind my ears and observed the woods, how the light shone threw them with a somewhat green eeriness that one would only find in a movie. "I was a disappointment, a mistake of their foolishness. No one really liked me in school either. They thought me a freak because I…" I didn't carry on. It was more than embarrassing, it was painful.

"You can tell me anything and I won't judge you."

"It's not your judgment I'm worried about, it's how it will sound spoken out loud."

His lips tightened in a thin line of disapproval. "You'll feel much better once you do."

I silently agreed, clearing my throat though it was unnecessary. "One of the teachers called me out in front of the class saying that I should have been left in the trash where my parents found me. Earlier I had defied her rules by snapping back at her, and she was unleashing her furry on me." I took a sharp inhale of breath. "I don't really remember how quickly I got up or how my hand was on her throat, holding her up off the ground. Her tendons were snapping into small fragments but, I—I didn't know what I was doing. People were screaming, the boys trying desperately to release my grip and failing miserably."

"The next thing I remember, I was being taken home on a week's long suspension. They only spared me because I was a straight A student, never having done anything like that before."

"That's why they thought you a freak."

"There were other times. In science, we were hammering down a nail to a board to see how many strokes it took of human force to nail it down. When they got to me, I never got the chance. I had barely taken the board in my hands when it broke. I was crying, holding the two boards in my hands, having no clue why it had broken when the boy next to me said I was holding it the wrong way. They gave me another piece, reluctantly, and handed me the hammer. The hammer went down on the wood, through the table and dented the floor."

The air was still as I retold my story that no one else knew. The teacher had called my parents but they didn't want to hear it. They only wanted to ignore me. I didn't have to say this to Edward. It was plain to see why my parents would hate me.

He took my hand in his like a brother I never had. "That's why you ran away. Your strength was inhuman and you had to go somewhere where they accepted you."

"In a way the doctors at the institution saved me. They took me in, taught me how to control it, and then relinquished me to the woods to die. Or so they thought."

I smirked up at him, allowing my white teeth to flash before him.

We walked home in silence. He was thinking about what I told him and I knew he was more curious as to how strong I was now. Sure, that was unnatural for a human. But for an immortal, that was normal. The baseball game wasn't enough for him. He wanted to see more.

"You want to see?" I walked over to a tree as the snow came down again in thick drops like cotton balls.

"Show me."

I took my hand and pressed it against the middle of the tree. The cracks were undeniable. It felt so wondrous to let the strength flow. I giggled to myself, unaware of how frightening I must look. Such a small thing, giggling to herself as she broke a tree in half with the pressure of her tiny hand. The tree fell over with a large thud, pine needles falling about me with the snow which puffed around me like a cloud, dancing together to intertwine themselves in my hair. I shook out my hair like a dog and grinned in Edward's direction. But it dropped once I saw the fury in his eyes. They smoldered at me, his arms folded, leaning god-like against the tree.

"Did that scare you?"

"No, I'm amazed. But I'm wondering why _you_ are so afraid of it when it clearly gives you joy."

I bowed my head. "You haven't seen me when I'm not enjoying myself."

I wasn't myself when it came on. Something had to tick me off just enough and I would snap, becoming a person I barely knew. Inside of my bones, there is been two of me, one good and one evil. Now the evil had doubled and I was more afraid than ever that the two evil would gang up on the good and divulge itself in a killing spree.

"I won't allow that. I will personally make sure that you don't kill anyone while with us." He meant it as a joke, but behind it was a seriousness I could not quite grasp. Would he really protect me? I doubt the he could even pin me down. It would take the entire family…or an ancient.

He turned to a tree himself and pressed his palm against it. The tree broke in half just as mine had, falling over to create another cloud of magic white. He grinned at me. "You're not that strong."

"You haven't seen me when I'm angry."

"Okay Hulk."

He draped his arm around me and together we walked off, singing and humming our favorite songs, forgetting all about my human existence.

* * *

The affection that had spawned itself between me and Edward was contagious. I had made a good friendship with each family member and in return they showered me with the love I had always craved for.

Esme took me into her arms often, singing to me and rocking me into catatonia during the weekends that everyone went off to feed. I had learned that because of my strength, I only needed the sweet savor of blood once a month. I was no longer tempted by the blood of the people around me and for some odd reason it held no satisfaction for me to hear their hearts beat against their chests.

As she rocked me, I would dream about places far away where my independent happiness dwelled. I often pictured myself in a flat in England, a loft in Colorado, or a mansion in Virginia. I worked for a local magazine and wrote my stories, painting pictures along with them. I didn't have enough imagination for that sort of job but it seemed like so much fun.

I clung to Esme when the bad dreams came on. I was being chased, running towards my family and out of the trees by something I couldn't understand until the last moments that I opened my eyes. It had been the Volturi coming for me to take me away. However curious I was about them, fear overshadowed their wonder for me. To say that I was a coward was not even remotely close. I was the most retarded and frightful chicken in the coop.

Out of Esme's arms I would rise and into Alice's room I would float when she returned. I helped her arrange her wardrobe and try different makeup techniques while Jasper lounged on her mod sofa retelling me stories from the Civil war. I listened to him as Alice twisted my air this way and that. She examined my eyes often to watch the microscopic purple flecks grow. They were barely noticeable, but she would find them and stare into them as if watching my life play out before her.

Carlisle and I discussed the ancient times past and how much I desired to have been born in such an era.

"You would wish to live in a world filled with diseases, death, and a crudeness not even I can mirror?" He had asked me as I gazed lovingly at his paintings.

"It wouldn't be so terrible. People actually had honor and dignity. They were concerned about real things and not drowning in the music of their Ipods or fashion."

He chuckled softly, knowing all too well that I had some of the qualities in me. He turned on his classical music from another era and handed me an easel with a sketchpad on it. I sat down routinely and drew him doing various things. He was easier to draw than mortals because he actually had the capability of being a statue. He would tell me of his father, of his life and how he came to be. I would gaze at the ancient cross in the hall and the paintings of his personal timeline in aw, praying I would be vanquished before I grew as old as he was.

Rosalie and I, when weather permitted it, went shopping and to win her affection I had to work. I praised her when she held up clothes of various sizes, colors, and shapes. I frowned in disapproval when she had picked a wrong variation, which was rare. Together we talked about how she wished so much that she was human. She often felt pity for me that I never had a choice because she hadn't either. In this we bonded, knowing each other's feelings whole heartedly.

Emmet was a different matter entirely. On one rare occasion of my feeding time, Emmet had encountered a bear of abnormal size. The bear was unwieldy and heavy but nonetheless frightening to me. As Emmet taunted it, teasing it with growls and random jabs, his teeth relinquished from their subordinate hold, another bear came to him. But this one had a friend and so Emmet was surrounded by three bears, each one looking like a failed science experiment. Edward had successfully pinned one for Emmet, but Emmet couldn't feed on it because the other two were circling him, eyeing him like the hunk of meat that he was.

I hadn't been paying much attention to him, and I was rather enjoying the process of killing my own source of nourishment with my impeccable senses when I heard him call to me. He had been pinned by the bear, its teeth digging into his flesh. Wasn't this what Emmet wanted? To have a challenge? I supposed not as he yelped, the bear digging into his knuckles, his hand in the mouth of the grizzly.

I shook my head nonchalantly and came to his aid, picking up the bear by the back of the neck and hurling him against a tree. The tree snapped under the pressure, sending the splinters into the lungs of the bear, killing it instantly.

"You could have just set him down." Emmet grumbled as he focused his attention on the other bear who was moaning for the loss of its mate. This one wasn't as large but it was more irritable than the last one. I turned my attention to Edward whose strength was draining from holding the grizzly beneath him. I rolled my eyes and helped him up while simultaneously holding the bear down with my foot. I sighed, taking a seat on the bear's stomach and pinching her paws in both hands.

"Now listen, bear." My eyes were on the bear, digging deep into her eyes while she gnashed at me. "I promise to let you go if you stop your thrashing. You'll be lucky if I don't kill you with my weight, but I still promise." Edward had laughed at me then, finding irony in "my weight" when I was a stick.

The bear's head cocked to one side, but she had stopped trying to kill me. All was calm except for the commotion coming from Emmet's successful escapade of drinking blood from an irritated grizzly bear.

I walked off into the woods to feel the biting of the icy wind against my bare arms. I couldn't feel it, the way it should have sent my skin cells tingling and goose bumps on my flesh.

How long had I been with them now? I could scarcely remember the fire in my veins on the days of my turning. How many animals had I killed?

No. I didn't want to know that. I didn't want to think about anything. I just wanted to be comfortable in the place I was in forever. Nothing could disturb it…or so I thought.

A:N/ Guess who's coming to town next chapter? muahaha...


	6. New Comer

Thanks to Joreyna for reading and revising even though you don't find alot of mistakes. It still makes me feel better. Thanks to reviewers. check out thebellacullenproject on myspace it is amazing!

* * *

It didn't come back like I thought it would. I suspected that my independent flare would rear its ugly head but, alas, it stayed deep within me. Edward knew it was there, along with my building anger at what I had become. In fact, everyone could sense it. Everyone who was a vampire that is. How long had it been since I wanted my own life? It evaded my mind for days on end, interrupting my train of thoughts and making it all jumbled.

"Perhaps because you are comfortable with us and your sense of affection has finally surfaced." Edward had offered after a strenuous time of resisting the urge to answer me.

I snorted. "Affection? Please." But I was laughing, unable to keep a straight face.

He wasn't laughing. "Well, _I_ think we have given you a break through."

I headed his previous advice and left my worrying at that.

A year passed and we were sophomores. Life was more than tolerable, it was enjoyable. Was it a sin to love my life so much? To love my days that were filled with Edward and I obsessing over the latest Indie bands that surfaced or the classical music that occupied our home's air most of the time? Was it so wrong to love the arguments with him or argue with Jasper whether Lincoln was the best president we had ever had or not? Or the fact that Esme babied me and gave me everything I desired?

Esme gave me my own room, outfitting it in the most modern style, stocking my shelves with the CD's that Edward and I submerged ourselves in, including everything from Italian opera to French techno to American pop. I had a bed at my request though I didn't need it. I would spend hours in it, rolling around in the fluffy purple quilt and inhaling the scent of fresh lilies. My walls were of black and grey, mixing in with the white furniture quite perfectly. My random knickknacks lined the wall from my random adventures with Alice to antique shops. Rosalie found it annoying that I collected random objects, while Edward found it vexing. We all had our own havens and this room certainly was mine. It didn't have to match anyone else's personality except for mine.

Edward came in often to fool around on my computer, shaking his head occasionally at my desktop pictures of Gaspard Ulliel. We chattered about this and that, his memories of his parents and of mine. There was nothing we kept from each other. I often told him which boys at school had the most potential at hotness, sending him into hysterics.

"I swear to you one day Mike Newton will have the ladies swooning for him. If only he changed his spiky hair…"

"He might look to me for inspiration."

"Who would want your messy hair?" I joked but knew that his hair was exactly the kind I loved.

"I know for a fact he is going to change it next summer. He's already debating."

"What about you, Edward? Are there any women who have potential?"

"Lauren. But she is just as tenacious as Rosalie."

And so our days carried on like this with odd conversations strung together by our random thoughts and endless words spoken in our minds.

Summer was terrible for us. I hated going outside and there was nothing to do. So, I ordered armor online and as soon as it came, I was geared up and ready for battle. It wasn't really armor, more of spandex and corsets.

"Are you trying to imitate Underworld to send us into further humiliation?" Rosalie bit out as I came bounced towards the back, two swords raised and pointing them at her playfully.

Jasper, Emmet and Edward were examining them at once with awed silence as I smiled to myself.

"I was taught how to use them at the institute. They're quiet harmless pieces really."

"Yeah except for the fact that they can kill someone." Her retaliation was annoying.

My jaw hardened. "Would you like to see how they're used?"

At once the men answered yes, including Carlisle who had averted his attention from Esme's orders to take them from me.

Alice, Rosalie and Esme were in unfathomable horror as I twirled them in my hands to make them look like miniature helicopter wings. I made my way into the middle, listening for the sounds of any life that might come near me.

"Lilly! Stop it right now!" Esme hollered for the whole town to hear.

I shrugged her off. I wondered if she was more baffled at my swift change from innocent child to sword wielder, or if she really didn't want me to have them in my hands. To a tree I went and my swords hacked away at it, creating a sculpture only the creator could love. It was a gargoyle with only the slightest provocation of happiness.

I jumped up and sliced a small unwanted piece off, only to land in a perfect stance, the swords raised above me head in their newly dulled points.

The men clapped, obviously impressed by my skill. Rosalie shook her head and left while Esme and Alice decided how to get them away from me. We all laughed it off as I threw the swords where no one would ever find them.

We always found odd things to do to fill the time. There were dull moments that would eventually pass unnoticed by our entertaining experiments and adventures. Another year and then…then things changed.

I hadn't thought that life could change for us. I always thought that we would be that way, laughing, singing, dancing, and throwing our cares into the sweltering heat that became our lives.

It was then that I realized why I had felt so happy. It was Jasper who had made me forget my worries. I wasn't mad that he gave me the happiness I wanted, I just hoped it was truly happiness I was granted. I felt a stronger gratefulness towards him and profusely told him this. I thanked him for helping me and focusing his energy on me for the better part of two years. But I told him that I wanted to feel happiness that could only come from myself and that it would take awhile to warm up to it. He understood, and stopped.

Then I could see what was wrong with this little family whom I thought was so perfect. Carlisle and Esme. Jasper and Alice. Emmet and Rosalie. Edward. Me. Edward and I were not connected by ands because…we didn't love each other in that sense. Carlisle had given me to Edward, but just like Rosalie, our relationship was strictly brother and sister. That was all this love could give us. Edward was so alone and when I looked into his eyes, truly looked, I found it. There it was, that inescapable sense of sadness and loneliness. He was alone and I was alone.

That realization was just before she arrived. I remember the day like my own death. And that was exactly what it felt like. The death of our little reverie as a family.

Alice told us she was coming, but neither of us paid that much attention. What was another human coming to town?

The day started normal. Edward and I had been staring intently at our notes, conversing about random things, until he brought up what he'd been reading in everyone's minds during the day.

"_There's a newcomer."_

"_A girl or boy?"_

"_A girl. Brown hair, pale skin, quiet."_

"_Have you actually seen her yet or is this just your guess?"_

"_No, I haven't had the chance to."_

It wasn't a huge thrill to us. People came and went all the time but to our peers, it was much different. She was from Phoenix and apparently the only subject on everyone's minds. It was all they talked about. "The Chief's daughter home at last."

At lunch we got our first sighting of her and her abnormal beauty. I couldn't quite place it, but there was something about her that made my heart jump out to her. She seemed to not fit in with those ridiculous conformists she was sitting by. She would fit much perfectly with us quiet beings.

"_You know that's impossible."_

I frowned at him. "I guess your right."

If that was his choice, then so be it. I would ignore her and wouldn't change her. Alice left without another word to us and I was about to follow when her voice caught my attention. She had turned to the annoying little priss next to her and directed her question.

"Who are _they_?"

Her question seemed to come into Edward's ear for he looked up at her. I told him to not look but, alas, he never listens to me. Jessica, the priss, giggled to herself. "That's Edward, Emmet, and Lilly Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one on the left is Alice Cullen; they live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife."

It was hard to decipher what she was thinking because her face was difficult to read.

"They are…very nice-looking."

There was no doubt. She was fascinated with us just like everyone else.

Jessica giggled again. What an annoying girl. "Yes! They're all _together_ though—Emmet and Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice, I mean. And they _live _together."

They drabbled on a bit on where we came from, who were the Cullen's and that we were all adopted. I allowed my eyes only turn to her for a mere second before they flipped away. That was all it took for her to ask a question about me.

"Which one is the girl with the long, wavy, brown hair?"

Jessica's quick glance was on me and off like a quick burn. "That's Lilly Cullen. She's the newest adopted child and probably the most normal. She's the only one that isn't awkward around us."

_Us._ Jessica had separated us without even realizing it. None of them knew what we were except for the fact that we didn't mingle. There was _us_ and then there was them. I looked up at her face again. She was watching me with deep curiosity, her eyes a bit wide as I peered at her.

"_Stop!"_ Edward yelled at me and my eyes were on the wall in an instant. That only drew attention to Edward. She asked about him, her wonder with him even deeper.

'That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him."

I had forgotten how attentive to Edward Jessica was. I held back a laugh while Edward yelled at me to quit it. But her voice brought me back. "Why doesn't he date the other one since all of his other siblings are together?"

Jessica shook her head. "If you really want to know, ask him. I have no clue, but he does."

"No thanks." Was her immediate response.

We all stood to walk out the door, our not one of our eyes meeting with her. Onto my next period, one I didn't have with Edward, I went. That was when things went wrong. Terrible. Unbearably…boring.

I felt it in my gut as I bounced the basketball with no effort. Something was wrong, frighteningly wrong. I wondered what it was, this feeling that I had. Carlisle in trouble, possibly? No, I wasn't as close to him. My eyes widened in terror. Jasper had bitten a human! People knew! In my mind I could picture blood and guts everywhere, a horrible image I might add, his strength uncontrollable to those who were beating him off with their chairs. But I couldn't leave and go help him because deep within me I knew it wasn't him. It was Edward.

The bell rang and school ended. Into the car we went only to find Edward escaping the grounds quicker than he ever had. Down the highway we flew and I was almost positive the tires weren't touching the ground. "Edward, what is it?" Alice asked first, having enough guts to ask first.

He held his nostril as if some agonizing scent flourished within them. He pulled over to the side of the road and ordered us to get out.

"But—"

The snarl that came from his throat was unlike any other I had ever heard. I almost fell out of the car, staring at him with befuddled anger. We watched him from the side of the road as his tires spun, kicking dirt up onto us, and disappeared down the road.

It only took us a minute to get home yet there was no sign of him. Every room went under inspection, Esme trailing us in hysterics. "Why would he leave us?" She repeated over and over as we quietly soothed her. He left everything in his room untouched. He hadn't even come home.

Once Carlisle came home in Edward's car, he was hammered with our questions. "Why do you have his car?"

"Where is he?"

"Is he gone forever?"

Carlisle put up his hands in a calming gesture. "He came to me at the hospital, and told me his was going up to Alaska."

I grimaced.

"But why?" Esme's hand went up to her throat and I saw the very human characteristic of her motherly compassion that I adored.

"His exact words were 'The scent is too much. I'll kill her and ruin everything.'" He eyed us over, scanning our faces. He found what he was looking for, the verification to why he had left. "Isabella Swan's blood is exactly his type. I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about, Emmet."

We all looked to Emmet whose eyes agreed with us in one sweeping glance.

"That's all? Just because he smelled a woman with his exact type of lust for blood, he runs away?" Esme began to weep in her own way, her eyes filling with an unmistakable amount of mist and the sigh that escaped from her lips were echoes that bounced off the walls and reverberated inside our heads. Into Carlisle's arms she went.

"You don't understand. You should have seen the look on his face."

"I wish I could have! Then I could have stopped him from being so irrational."

I had been silent this whole time, taking it all in and breathing it out. It was because of Jasper, I knew. He was giving me peace. I sighed to myself and fell into Esme's arms to comfort her.

The next day, at lunch, I could feel the heat of her gaze on us as she watched us, looking for him. She was anxious, nervous, confused, and bewitched by us. This continued day after day. The rain poured, my mind boggled in and out of consciousness. I was completely and utterly bored out of my mind and it was no help that everyone was glumly dragging their feet.

Then he came back and I was more pissed than ever, but I got over it.

We were in my room, him franticly twitching on my bed while I did hand stands against a wall. "What is it about her?" I asked, feeling what little blood I had rush into my brain.

He looked at me with a seriousness I had never seen on his face before. "I can't explain it. It's her blood…it intoxicates me to the point of rushing from a room. And yet I want to stay with her. I can't read her thoughts or her expressions. She's…she's switched off while everyone else is switched on."

I nodded, listening to the strained emotion in his voice. I didn't know exactly how I felt about this Bella Swan, but she seemed harmless.

"_She_ is harmless, but we are dangerous. I could kill her with one squeeze of my hand."

"Then don't touch her."

"You're being very insensitive."

I glared at him, my anger spiking. "Maybe it's because I don't understand why you have to be obsessed with her. Bella Swan is just some weak human who is of little importance to us."

He growled under his breath at me yet it didn't surprise me that time. "It's not like I can help it. Unless you want to move…" He trailed off to let that thought seep into my mind.

My eyebrows furrowed. "No, no I don't want to move."

His smirk was on his face again. "Besides, I'm not the only one being marveled at by a human."

"Rosalie has an admirer. Go figure."

He shook his head.

"Alice?"

"Nope."

"It can't be Esme…they don't even know what she looks like!" I giggled to myself, twirling in sudden circles about my room, the blood gushing back down to all my organs except for my dormant heart. "Then it would be a first for a man to love another man in this town."

He shook his head. "No, Miss. Oblivious. You." Nothing moved. "Heath Collins? Remember him?"

I fell down in a very ungraceful way only to be met with his roaring laughter. I stood up too quick for human eyes and glowered at him. Heath would talk to me every moment that he could, but his conversation was never important enough to remember. "So what if people are interested in me? That's as it should be."

Again, a shake of the head. "It's not interest, its admiration mixed in with curiosity and sprinkled with fascination."

"So what you're saying is—"

"He's going to ask you to prom."

"PROM?!" My scream could be heard throughout the house, bringing Esme to the door in a flash and crushing me into an iron hold.

"What's happened?" She directed her question at Edward whose laughter was chocking him.

After his bout of laughter, he explained what had me in such a tense worry. "Heath Collins is going to ask her to prom and has an extreme fascination with her."

Esme pushed me back with the widest grin I had ever seen on her face. "You better accept."

"What?" I asked in a daze.

In waltzed Alice, a large flash of her teeth in a smile coming towards me. "He's going to ask you in a month and is planning as of this moment how to do it. He's torn between holding a boom box over his head playing a song he wrote for you or embarrassing you in front of the entire school by playing the song over the intercom."

A thought quickly settled over me. "I will have to say no then."

They all glared at me. "Why?!"

"Because! I would be a hypocrite to go with a human when we are warning Edward to stay away from Bella Swan!"

Esme threw her head into a fierce shake. "No, no…there is no danger in it because Alice is certain that no matter how hard he tries, you won't like him. Plus, he is not where you path lies."

"But, isn't it wrong to lead him on?"

Alice was too willing to answer first. "Let him have his fun and then tell him." She was apparently all for this excursion.

I whined at them to please not press me into this but they wouldn't budge. Alice would answer for me if I refused to acknowledge him.

"Isn't it dangerous? I could want his blood." Fear was the last thing I needed at the moment.

"As of late, your blood lust is dull. You feed once a month and are the most comfortable around humans."

I scoffed at the ground. "Speaking of a month…come on, Edward. Let's go hunt."

* * *

Edward's appetite was disgusting, and while I watched him suck the life out of a mountain lion, I commented on it. "Drinking a lot of blood, aren't you?"

He needn't wipe his mouth as he rose from the limp body. Not a speck had been spilt. "I'm being cautious."

I nodded, following him through the trees. "Explain to me again why it is you are so attracted to Bella?" I twirled around a tree, a bit unnerved by the thought of a human asking me to prom. I needed him to speak to get my mind off of Heath.

"She has a scent…I can't explain it. Just wait, you'll catch a whiff of her and even your dull lust for blood will flower."

I shrugged. "I suppose." I kicked a few leaves across the ground. "I was supposed to be for you, wasn't I?" I hadn't known the words came out until they were spoken. And yet I was glad they did.

He didn't answer.

"But it didn't work. Just like it didn't work with Rosalie because we're only connected with sibling compassion." I broke a branch and held it up as I would a sword, pointing it at Edward's marble chest. "But that's just as well for I wouldn't have you even if you wanted me."

He laughed at this but it was on the floor and forgotten the next moment. He broke a branch himself and poised it at my chest as well but I was too tense to fight him. The whole prom ordeal was bugging me.

He veered off to the left, towards home, without one single comment on my thoughts. "We should get back."

"No comments on my blaring thoughts?" I had caught up to him then and linked an arm through his. He shrugged out of it, hurting me far deeper than he could see.

"I would be a hypocrite call you out when I have my own human problems." His words were bluntly falling with tremendous speed. "Lilly, I'm so weak. I can't even hold my composure around her. It's appalling!"

I didn't reach out for him again and I doubted if I ever would again. He was breaking away from me, reaching for something were I couldn't follow him. I held back the sobs that threatened to come when he looked at me. "Have I hurt you?"

I put a thick veil over my thoughts, shielding them with my worries of prom. I gave a flamboyant smile. "Of course not! And don't you ever think you are weak because that growl you gave me last week was not even close to weakness."

It had worked. The veil evaded him. "I suppose your right. I guess on Monday we shall just have to see what happens."

However thick my veil was in front of Edward, it wouldn't last for long. I made us walk quickly, lying about some alone time I wanted at home when in truth I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible knowing that soon, somehow, I wouldn't be able to.

I left him in the front room and up the two flights of stairs into my own room, sinking onto my bed with a sigh.


	7. First Encounter

I do not own any of SM's characters or even her plot line. Thanks to the reviewers and readers. Also, thank you Joreyna for all your help!

* * *

Monday. Again. But this time there was a sense of expectation. All of us waited to see what would happen, every miniscule movement of the humans were aware to our senses. Lunch, for once, couldn't come quick enough. I was fidgeting, an odd thing to do for me, in all my classes. It didn't help that Heath's gaze was suddenly brought to my senses. I never paid attention to him. Poor guy.

He tapped my shoulder with his feathery hand. "Are you okay, Lilly?"

Why, oh why, did he have to choose right then to talk? I looked back at him in amazement. Blonde hair, blue eyes, adorable mouth, and black rimmed glasses made up the mortal that was Heath. For only a brief moment I wondered if he really was a bit obsessive over me but I had to answer his question or else he would find something wrong with me. After all, not everyone could read minds.

"Yes, I'm fine."

He nodded once. "You look a bit pale."

I choked on my own laughter. Was it possible for a vampire to look paler than I already was?

"In some countries, pale is desired."

His head cocked to one side. He didn't get it. God, why couldn't Edward have all my classes? He would have understood and laughed with me.

Lunch finally came and into our normal seats we jumped. In the snow we had all fumbled into and now our hair was caked with it like icing.

Alice flopped down with Jasper, her black and gold flecked eyes upon me. _"Have you heard anything?"_

"_Nothing."_

A smile played on her lips. _"Did Heath talk to you today?"_

I snarled at her quietly under my breath when Edward came up and sat next to me. Onto our staring ways we went, not touching any of our food. Emmet chucked a piece of food at me the next moment and I threw it back, hitting Rosalie.

She said something to me, unintelligible to human ears, and I began to laugh at her. Edward was brought into it, picking on Rosalie and me for being immature. Alice, Rosalie, and I all shied away from Emmet who shook his hair damp at us.

"Bella, what are you staring at?" Jessica asked, catching our attention.

Edward's gaze was on her at once. Bella's eyes dropped to the table, her hair covering her face. We all settled back into our seats but Edward continued his stare at her bringing Jessica's attention to it. She called it out and Bella murmured how Edward didn't like him.

"The Cullen's don't like anybody…well, they don't notice anybody enough to like them. But he's still staring at you."

This was a first for us, to have one of us pay attention to a human. But Edward's attention had been caught. Somehow, I knew that it would be caught forever with this girl, no matter where she went. The bell rang and I left immediately, shielding my thoughts from him as he watched me.

The end of the day couldn't come sooner. Heath asked me to be on his team for gym. I didn't even have time to answer when another boy, Sam, asked me to be on his team. Were they nuts? On small stroke of my hand and their kneecaps could be powder.

"I asked her first, Sam." Heath's voice was clipped, restrained, and unwelcome. He tried to push me behind him, but found that he couldn't. Yet that didn't faze him. He stepped in front of me to keep me from Sam.

They stared at each other for a long moment before the bell rang to leave. Before they could even turn around to face me I was gone, dressed and out the door for my next class. The end of the day came and I walked right by Jasper's side. We greeted Alice with a nod and made our way to the car where Edward waited. He wouldn't leave however, when we loaded ourselves into the car. He was waiting for someone.

"Edward! You can't be serious!" Rosalie hissed as Bella Swan veered the corner and went to her truck.

She pulled out, noticing Edward, and almost hit a Toyota Corolla. As she passed us, Edward began to laugh to himself.

"Edward!" Rosalie called to him.

The car started the next moment and we were gone.

Edward said nothing until we were walking into the front room to be greeted by the rest of the family. "She thinks I hate her."

Rosalie snorted. "That's not surprising."

"And I think I annoyed her."

"You don't say." She pursed her lips in boredom.

I said nothing, ignoring Alice's heated stare at my back while I made my way up to my room. She and Jasper followed me as usual but something was much different about their behavior.

I sat on my bed, my knees curled under me and my chin resting on my knee. Alice and Jasper sat on my floral couch, watching me with vague interest. I played with my white toes, forcing the sobs to stay down. I gulped plenty of times to be unnatural, bringing their attention to me.

"Lilly, can we ask you a question."

"No."

They were shocked at my behavior, but it didn't derail them from their primary goal, whatever that was. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Are you lonely?"

"No."

"Are you planning on leaving anytime soon?"

My eyebrows knit together in a tight line at them. "Um, no?"

They were statues on my couch, putting my human habit of fidgeting to shame. I sighed again, regretting it instantly.

"Are you sure you're fine?" Jasper asked, leaning only a fraction of a centimeter forward.

"Have I ever given any reason why I shouldn't be?"

Alice and Jasper glanced to one another, but their eyes couldn't stay off of me. "I saw you leaving because you are lonely."

I sighed. "I'm not lonely."

"You don't have to lie to us. We are all right here for you."

I shot her a chilling glance. "Stop."

Alice should have just kept her mouth shut. I didn't want to know about my future and I for sure as hell didn't want to know I would leave.

"It's not definite. If you don't want to leave, then make the decision." She explained.

The only question was, how? If it was supposed to be that way, then I wasn't going to change it. Besides, I was growing increasingly lonely as Edward's attention was being driven towards a certain human. I stood up and grabbed my raincoat.

"Going somewhere?" They both asked in unison. Edward had appeared at my door and for only a brief moment did I pause.

"I'm going down to Portland to buy a few art supplies. I'll be back."

Edward blocked my path in my door. "Would you like some company?"

"No thanks. I think its best I get used to being by myself."

That was a low blow. I couldn't bring my eyes to his face as I pushed past him. But what I supposed to say? _"Oh yeah, come with me just because your feeling bad and your making up for it by spending 'quality time' with me when all you'll be doing is thinking about _her.

There was no doubt that he heard that as well, but he didn't follow me which only made it worse. Esme stopped me on the way out, holding up the keys to Carlisle's Mercedes. A faint smile twinkled about her lips as she gave me a hug before I left.

I wondered if she thought I would leave for good, but that was out of the question…and future. I prayed that I would remember how to drive. Pushing the key into its slot and purring the engine to life, I felt much better. My seat belt was buckled, my hands tight on the steering wheel, and my feet on the gas and break pedals. I could just hear Edward laughing to me about my humanly intuition about cars and it gave me a pang of sadness. Maybe he should have come with me.

"Don't be stupid, Lilly." I grumbled to myself, the gravel crunching underneath the turning wheels.

I turned up the volume on the stereo to loose my mind. My muscles relaxed; my twitching ceased. I was alone and…I kind of liked it. No one was asking me questions or watching me or playing pranks on me. It was sort of fun in a vexing way. I sang along to the music in an average tone so as to not break the windows and smiled to myself as I made it into Portland. Into a spot I parked with perfect execution. The rain came down in buckets, soaking my hair to my raincoat before I could even step into the fluorescent lighting of a craft store. I wandered down random isles wasting time, picking up random objects and listening to the random conversations of those around me. I wandered down a different isle, finding plenty of canvases for my tedious art work. I picked a few up, their weight that of feathers and grabbed a few sketch pads. I should have gotten a cart because my arms were packed with stuff. I sighed to myself, making my way down the isle at a normal speed when I slammed into a body. The person fell back, the breath knocked out of it and a gasping sound coming from its chest. I dropped my things and helped the person up, noticing the face at once.

"Heath! What are you doing here?"

He put a hand to his throat and below his button up shirt was a bruise. I shoved the shirt away from his chest, noticing that he was well equipped in muscle, and touched the bruise. It wasn't as bad as it looked and only hurt when I touched it. "Just picking up some art supplies with my cousin." He was able to reply after a minute.

"You'll be alright." I said after helping him up. All of my things were on the floor and I bent down to pick it up. He held a few things up for me, being one of the only nice people I had met in a while.

"Does your cousin paint?"

"No, she doesn't. But I do."

I fell back on my bottom, in complete shock. _He paints?_ Great, now we were starting to have things in common. Standing up, I knew I had to get out of there or else I would be his prey.

Just then, the scent caught my attention. Before she could even bound the corner, or even catch my scent, I had hers in my nostrils. I went into panic. Never had I come across another one of my kind other than my family. I was up before Heath's eyes could follow and I went deathly still. She bounced around the corner, slowing at my sight, her blonde hair in a pixie cut but proving her all the more beautiful. Her pointy little nose, large blue eyes, and delicious mouth. She looked much like her cousin, only not as handsome.

"Good evening." The woman sang to me.

My attention flicked to her and I saw the curiosity in her eyes. Did Heath know that she was one of us? How could he not see the resemblance between the both of us pale skinned, skinny, graceful women of the underworld?

"Hello." Heath could not have heard it, but she certainly did.

Heath motioned to the blonde beauty next to him. "Lilly, this is my cousin Melissa Collins." He motioned to me. "Lis, this is Lilly Cullen."

I nodded to her but was dying with the question on my brain. I had to ask. "Does he know?" I asked in a swift voice so that Heath couldn't even see my lips move.

She answered back just as quickly. "No, but he will soon."

I nodded once and felt the fear rising again.

"Lilly." A voice I knew all too well called to me from the end of the isle. The tension that radiated from Edward was something like that of a train hurling itself at us.

"It was nice to meet you." She turned and left down the other end, out of sight before Edward could get to her.

Heath was in a daze, but nevertheless aware of Edward's presence. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded. The world swayed; the edge of reason slipping. Had she really been so close to me?

We said not one word as the art supplies were gathered, paid for and stuffed into the Mercedes. Edward had run here for he wouldn't have driven me home if his own car was here. "She's reeks of ancient. I could sense that she was one of Aro's cohorts, and she will most likely tell him of her encounter with you."

I blinked. "Is that good or bad?"

"Depends on how you look at it."

"How should we look at it?"

Silence.

"Thank you…for saving me."

"You didn't really need my help but Alice saw Melissa taking you if one of us wasn't there to be with you."

I licked my lips thinking them to be dry when they were moist like always. "Still, thank you."

We drove in a graveyard state, neither one of us speaking until he couldn't handle it anymore. "Either Aro will enjoy hearing of your looks and charm, or he will be indifferent about it and wait until _you_ go to_ him_."

At home, I unpacked my things and once again settled on my bed to be in quiet. I clicked my stereo on the remote to listen to classical music before slipping into an unconscious state where darkness reigned.


	8. Bad Guys and Paintings

Thanks to all those who have reviewed. Thanks you joreyna again. Your complements boost my slow confidence and I appreciate it.

* * *

The night passed slowly for me as I contemplated the reasons why I would leave. I was not yet lonely, as Edward was sitting in the room with me and listening to my thoughts. If I was completely lonely, he would not even speak to me. I wouldn't have Alice or Emmet to mess around with, or even Esme who loved me. So why should I leave? It was almost impossible to have such a repulsive thought.

I wouldn't leave and that was for certain.

Yet I felt something, deep within the pit of my stomach, within the ocean of reason. I was meant for something else bigger than this family life. I was supposed to be doing something, go somewhere, defeating something. But what was it? Aro held the answer, of that I was certain. I was meant for his plan but…what was his plan?

Too many questions again. I stood up and went to my easel, dabbing a few colors on a tin plate and swirling them until I received a pale color, the color of my skin. My brush inhaled the particles of color and stroked down on the canvas. Edward watched me with fascination as I painted a woman I had often seen in my catatonia dreams. She was much like me, dark hair and petite frame. Yet her eyes were gloriously purple, reaching far into the soul with a small glimmer of light around the pupil. She was dressed in a black gown, her skin glowing, her hair flowing.

"Who is she?" Edward asked.

"I don't know. But I see her often in small glimpses."

He smirked deviously. "Don't tell me you're becoming like Alice."

I returned the smirk. "Though she is something to look up to, I wouldn't dream of it."

I thought for a moment and then decided to ask Edward the question I somewhat dreaded. "Have you known about Heath's relations to immortals?"

"Yes."

"And that is why no one is against him liking me and wishing for a relationship."

He leaned against my bedpost with a sharp exhale of his breath. "He is part of a powerful family in Italy who work very closely with Marcus, Caius and Aro. He is to be one of Aro's close affiliates…though he doesn't know it."

"Is all his family like this?"

"No, only a few. But he has shown promising diligence to his family which is rare to find within this century."

"So I am what he knows and he plans to milk it for what it's worth."

"Precisely."

"And you don't have a problem with this."

He grumbled unintelligible slanders for a minute before answering. "Of course I have a problem with this! We all do…its just that Esme fears you shall not find someone and she is pushing for you to experience love within our realms."

"But, I don't want a relationship."

"Yet you despise being alone."

"Yes." I had to agree to that because I felt it when no one was with me. "Yet I find I am more content with a family and not creating one of my own."

He snickered. "You won't be able to create a family."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I know." He paused by my painting, shifting his focus back and forth from me to the woman before coming to a conclusion. "This woman that you see is yourself. A morbid creature, she haunts the night but, there is some passion in her eyes. That passion in yours as well."

He brushed a strand from my cheek and left the room to ready himself for school.

* * *

We made our way to school, the crisp air biting at our heels though we didn't feel it. Instead, we sensed something else. A present danger.

The wheels screeched, Edward's voice yelled and then the crunching of metal. We all stared at Edward who protectively held Bella in his arms. The sirens squealed, the people were crying, but all I could think of was what he had just done. He had saved her and most likely destroyed our cover.

I turned to Alice.

"Get in the car."

We filed into the car and back home we went. Esme took one look at our faces to understand.

"How could he do this?" Rosalie yelled at the top of her lungs. Emmet tried to comfort her but she shrugged out of his grip. "She will be the ruin of us!"

Esme put up her hand to keep Rosalie's words from tormenting the rest of us. "I'm quite positive that Edward wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our lives."

"Really? Have you seen his dubious fascination with her?"

"He wouldn't turn her if things became serious."

"Oh open up your eyes Esme! You too Alice! She is on the verge of figuring us out! I give it three months as she'll be playing baseball with us!"

She slammed the back door making a crack along the wall. Emmet went after her barely marking the wall with his stumbling anger. Alice and Jasper left up the stairs, leaving me and Esme to stare after them. In a long silence we watched the room grow dim with sunset.

Edward and Carlisle came in to see us staring off into space. Esme informed them of what happened, but I couldn't move. It was the truth. The whole truth lay out in front of us.

"I won't be speaking to her. I'm going to try and ignore her." It would be painful for him to do it but, he would. His hand brushed against my shoulder and he was gone.

I stood staring out the windows, ignoring the soft lull of the TV and the whispers of Carlisle and Esme talking. We all knew he would do his best to keep from talking to her, but there was no way around this one. The scary part for me was that in this entire process, I was losing my best friend and brother.

* * *

Bella was alright, as we found out the next day. She was just ticked off at Edward.

"_Why is that?"_

"_Because she is suspicious as to how I reached her so quickly."_

"_I would be too."_ I swallowed. _"Did you tell her?"_

He shot me the most perturbed look. _"No."_

And for a while, my wonder of Bella was put to rest. He didn't speak to her, held off really is what he did. Edward and I picked up where we left off, bantering and taking odd adventures. However, it wasn't the same. He didn't listen to my thoughts, or read my face the way he used to. His nights with me were increasingly shorter as he left to watch her sleep.

"Stalker." I had muttered when he left me.

That was supposed to be a slander, but he took it with a smirk that reached his eyes.

He had disconnected himself with me completely. I forced a façade for him even though he could have seen around it if he really looked.

And then, one day, he sat down at a different table and motioned to her to come to him. Jealousy, rage, confusion, hurt…all of it swelled up into my heart. I looked to Alice, praying she would do something.

"He tried," was all she offered to me.

I blinked back in their direction and watched them; my eyebrows pulled together, my mouth open in shock. I was about to have an immortal heart attack when he asked her what her theories were as to what he was. Was he serious? Was he really asking her to guess what he was?

"What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?"

Why, Edward, why? I was screaming at him, begging him to stop. He heard me, I knew he had. But…he was so focused on _her_ that I was suddenly insignificant.

The bell rang and he watched her leave. We lingered back, waiting for the room to be cleared until approaching. Rosalie flipped her hair, hitting Edward in the face and walked out with Emmet by her side. Alice beamed up at him as if nothing had just passed while Jasper stared at the floor.

"Are you on Rosalie's side?" He challenged me.

I was appalled that he would even ask me. And yet, he had reason to ask. If I was with Rosalie, then I was with selfishness…but if I was with Alice then I was backing down.

"You're undecided?"

I knelt my head. "I want you to be happy, Edward. As happy as you can be. If she makes you this way, then I won't stop you. But if there is any way you can stop this, do it."

He rumpled my hair and laughed. "But you know I can't and you're still with me. Amazing." I glanced up at him with my eyes and his eyebrows crumpled. "Your eyes. The purple is becoming your prominent feature."

Off to class he went leaving me alone.

* * *

Friday I decided to not go to school. Instead, I stayed home and painted on a wall in an unused room. I was clumsy as a human, spilling paint on my clothes and smudging it on my face but I was content. Edward knocked on the door, his face in aw as he peered up at my mural of a mixture of people from an ancient time I had never been in. I painted them exactly as if I had seen them, each one unique, different, and expressed in such a way to captivate the soul. It was a market of some ancient city, the people buying and selling but the strange thing was, I had painted a vampire in it. I couldn't even recall doing it, but there he was, watching us as we watched him. His head was the only one turned in our direction and all the others were busy with their own business.

"Where did this come from?"

"When Esme sings to me, I picture this as if I was there."

Edward pointed to the vampire. "Who is he?"

I laughed to myself. "Corpus Bareacelli." I had meant it to be a joke and yet it came out as if that _was_ his real name.

"That's oddly specific." Edward was watching my face once more like he used to, but then his attention snapped forward into the present. "Do you want to join me on a little trip to Port Angeles?"

"Stalking again?"

"I just want to make sure she is alright."

I smiled at him. _Another façade._ "No thanks. I've decided I'm going to paint our family next."

"And where will this be?"

"Downstairs, of course. Esme said I can have the wall behind the piano. It will look quite nice, don't you agree?"

He nodded. "Please don't make me look goofy."

"Don't worry, I will."

He mussed my hair and left. I stared after him with a particular feeling of loneliness. Turning back to my painting, I added a few touches to eyes and hair of random figures. As I watched them on the wall, they came to life, the sounds buzzing into my hair and then…

_Come to me, Lillith.  
_Where did that voice come from? Had I imagined it? No, the man had said it. The vampire.

But that voice…it was so familiar. It was home to me, it was the flutter of my human heart that had once existed. It was…the sensation of a thousand angels singing to me and only me, lifting me up and thrusting me into a time of never ending light, my skin shimmering.

I opened my eyes and found myself in the village, staring up at the vampire of curly dark hair that reached his shoulders, the eyes that twinkled in red. I leaned my head back, inviting him to take me into a hold and kiss me. His cold, dead, stony lips briefly brushed against mine, his fingers tracing my lips with such softness as I had never known.

"_Lillith…"_

"Corpus."

"_Come back to me."_

"But how? I no not where to find thee."

"_Listen to it…can thou hearest the sound?"_

"Sound?"

"_Thin own heart…thy heart, Lills. It beats for thee. Listen and thou shalt find it."_

I pressed my cheek firmly against his chest, straining to hear the chords of his heart. The people bumped past us but we were as statues in the middle of the road. Nothing could move us from where we were.

"Lilly?"

I flew off the wall, paint dripping from my face and my hair clumped into disarray. Esme stood glaring at me with her arms stiffly at her sides. "Who were you talking to and why were you speaking in that language?"

"What language?"

"Elizabethan language."

"I was speaking?"

She sensed something odd but decided to drop it. "Are you going to paint downstairs?"

"Yes, I was just finishing up here."

She nodded and left me be. But I wasn't alone. Again, I turned my attention to the painting. Surely I had not spoken to that man.

But.

He was so real! I felt him, I was leaning against him! I could feel his love and devotion to me, begging me to come back to him. "Where?" I pleaded with him. His eyes didn't move. "Say where…please?"

Nothing.

"Stupid!" I hissed to myself, shutting the door and stomping off down the two flights of stairs, realizing then that it was midnight and Edward had not come home.


	9. Jealousy

I do not own any of SM's novels or plotlines as I have said before. Thank you Joreyna for all of your help. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

My family came to life on the wall behind the piano, each one in their captivating presence. Alice and her fairy like movement, Rosalie and her beauty that was even better looking in person, Emmet and his bear like qualities, Jasper in his quiet and calm composure, Esme with her motherly gaze watching over her children, Carlisle and his model smile leaning against the doorframe of the room, and Edward with his curious smirk that reached his eyes.

I was in the background, my eyes on the windows to watch the outside. I had an odd feeling that that was what I would be doing in a few years. Watching for unwanted outsiders to keep my family safe.

The door opened revealing a very calm Edward. I glanced at him, my brush still wet with the purple I had used for my eyes, and my face focused.

"What's that look for?" He asked as he came closer to the painting.  
I shook my head, ignoring his question to focus on my intense concentration. I wasn't going to let his inattentive attention to my thoughts bother me. He should know my facial expressions well enough to understand what I was thinking.

"I'm sensing a lot of tension."

"You should sense more."

An eyebrow rose. "Are you angry with me?"

"Well, there's a question."

"What have I done now?"

"You've never done anything before so why should you now, Mr. Perfect."

His eyebrow rumpled in confusion. I had caught his attention now and he was working diligently to figure out what it was I was grumbling about. I turned my entire figure to him and eyed him with burning curiosity. "So, did she invite you in for a cup of tea and a shag?"

Edward's growl was enough to stir the entire house from its silent slumber. It was the only thing that seemed to sleep. "Don't you ever say that about Bella."

I dropped my head in shame. That was taking it too far and I admitted it.

Edward's glower hadn't resigned from his face. "I have never heard something as coarse like that come from your mouth."

"I'm not as innocent as you think."

He barked out a harsh laugh. I was digging myself into a deeper hole. "I see that loneliness brings out the worst in you."

I opened my mouth to retort but clamped it shut at once. I wasn't going to let him coax me into a fight. That's what he wanted. He wanted me to be against him so that when Bella did become significant in this family, I would be ashamed. "I'm sorry for my crude behavior. I've just had an upsetting night, that's all."

I snapped back to my painting, glaring at the Edward I had painted on the wall. Maybe I should have made a scowl on his face instead of a smirk. A hand pressed down on my shoulder with a heavy sigh. "Apology accepted." A pause. "What happened?"

"I sort of…had a vision."

"Explain."

I didn't need to. He saw it all in my mind, the sweeping sensation of unadulterated love I had for a painting that didn't exist and never would. Funny how I loved things that never existed. The thing that was perfect for me, exactly as I wanted life to be, never existed.

He yanked his hand back. "I don't know who the man was. But I can tell you something of importance that I just learned about you."

Now he had my attention. "What?"

"The more you think, the more it disturbs you."

I scowled. "I already knew that."

He placed a finger on my lips to shut me up. "No, Lilly. The more you paint, think, comprehend the future, whatever, it messes with your mind. It tampers with your memory and creates a deeper feeling of curiosity. Stop thinking so much and you won't fall in love with your characters."

"You have no idea what you're asking of me."

"It's not that hard."

"Tell that to a writer or a musician. They fall in love with their masterpieces because it is the adaptation of their desire."

"And was he your desire?"

"I didn't create him."

"Then what are you saying?"

"He existed at one time and I only painted him from memory. I knew him. I loved him. But I didn't create him. I was just saying that the more I think, the more I remember and fall in love with the world that seemed a dream only to find that—that it actually existed at one time. It's now the object of my desire."

"So that painting is a replica of a scene you once watched?"

"Yes."

"This would be so confusing to a human. Please never tell Heath this."

"Why would I? I'm not going to speak to him ever again."

He eyed me with questioning. "Why not?"

"I have no need. He will probably become one of us and I want to disassociate myself from him."

He raised an eyebrow but settled back into a facial expression that I couldn't read. "If you say so."

I decided to change the subject. "So, what did take you so long?"

His jaw line grew tight as he glowered at my painting. "Saving Bella from death, as usual."

"Did she trip and break her face this time?"

He shot me a disgruntled glance but carried on with his conversation. "No, she conveniently found herself down an ally and was almost…"

He didn't need to finish his sentence and I immediately began to feel terrible for making fun of her. I gulped in a perfectly mortal fashion. "Is she alright?"

"Yes, she's fine. I took her to dinner and she…she took another guess at what I am."

He didn't finish again.

"And this time she guessed right."

He nodded.

"So now she knows and there is no way of stopping this." I took an unneeded breath. "Who gave her this notion?"

"Jacob Black."

I nodded slowly in understanding. The family appeared then. The news of Bella overshadowed the creation of my painting and all eyes were on him. Jasper, oddly enough, was the first one to speak. "What are you going to do when I'm around her? You know my track record…it's enough for me just to ignore her presence at school but if you bring her here!"

"We are planning a trip tomorrow, her and me. I am going to take her to the meadow." Edwards stated without any knowledge of what Jasper had said.

"You stupid boy! How could you dare do this to us?" Rosalie yelled at him, her face even more brilliant in its anger.

Alice spoke up to keep a brawl from happening. "Rosalie, look at him." She pointed to Edward.

We all looked at him and just as Alice wanted of us, we saw it. A hint of happiness. A small twinge of laughter fixed into his eyes. None of us could bring that to him…except for the human girl Bella.

Alice carried on. "Esme, I know you see it. You saw his happiness before any of us ever took the time to recognize. Yes, Bella will be put into grave danger if she is with us. But she will also be the most loved and protected human on this planet if she is." She took a turn to examine each of our faces, saving mine for last. My eyes fell to the floor in shame before she spoke again. "I am with you, Edward."

"As am I." Carlisle spoke then, his voice that of an orchestra.

Jasper said nothing.

"I am, too." I whispered into our deafening silence.

Edward shot a glance down at me, a faint smirk playing on his lips.

"Choose whatever will make you stay with us, Edward." Esme smiled warmly with all of her motherly love.

"Well, I see who wants to be held responsible for her death if anything should happen." Rosalie's words were venom to us all. "Come on, Emmet. I do not wish to cavort with these traitors."

She left us then. This time, I wasn't going to hang around to be trapped into a conversation of who was right and who was wrong. This time, I left slowly for the stairs, weighing each of my steps carefully. To the room with my mural I came and closing the door behind me, I sat on the floor to marvel at it. The scene came to life again but this time, it was only mere imagination. Nothing more.

* * *

I had fallen to the floor, laying on my side, the scene replaying itself over and over until I knew what each person was saying and buying and thinking and dreaming and shouting and praying for. Why had I left that time period? Why was I here, stuck in this century, with a family I just happened to fall in love with? Someone had to have the answers for me! Someone had to know why it was that I was in love with a man who existed on plaster.

Nightfall. Edward came to us for only a brief moment, explaining what had transpired and what he was planning for tomorrow, though Alice already had a guess.

"You're staying with her tonight?" Esme asked her face no more confused than mine.

"Yes." A contagious grin broke out on his face and I couldn't help but smile myself.

Once he left, I stared blankly at the TV for hours, realizing the new feeling that was coming in to play on my emotions. Jealousy.

I had begged for the feeling not to come. What was there to be jealous about? It's not like I loved Edward, like I wanted him all to myself. _I didn't love him_ _like I wanted to marry him_. As a brother yes, but never intimately. That belonged to the man on the mural.

No, this jealousy was of a different standard. I twitched my eyes to Esme whose look was that of a faraway place. Alice and Jasper sat on the couch, conversing Jasper's views of each side and which one he should be on. (It was becoming just the side of Rosalie and the other side of the family the more they all thought about it.) Carlisle came to sit next to Esme. Emmet was persuading Rosalie into finding the brighter side of this humans' existence. That was when it hit me. They were all focused on _her_. She was the new member. I was old news and just part of the family now. I didn't need to be watched over or calmed anymore. I was past a year and more controlled than Jasper would ever be.

"Emmet, do you want to hunt some bears?" I asked with hope, my eyes that of a puppy.

"Not right now, Lills."

I turned to Alice. "You want to go shopping?"

"I can't, I'm keeping an eye of Edward and Bella's future."

To Carlisle. "Want to pose for a painting?"

"Not at the moment, Lillith."

_Lillith? LILLITH?_ What…how the…is he serious?! Did he really just call me that?

"Is something wrong?" Esme asked.

Murder was written on my face. Only one person called me that and no one else was allowed to. Not only that, but they didn't want to behave like normal people anymore! None of them. They were all too focused on keeping the worst from happening. I wanted to pull my hair out and scream.

Jealousy. It was the worst feeling I had ever had. Jasper sensed this and shot me waves of a calm state to where I was no longer thinking. Just standing there and staring off into space. Esme pulled me down into a comfortable position, wrapping her arms around me and humming to me. I tried to keep my thoughts and my body from traveling to the mural to think upon the subject that haunted my emotions. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. In fact, it was harder than actually comprehending the meaning of it all.

"They'll be home soon. And we will have some visitors from the North." Alice said from our graveyard silence after an hour or two. _They_. For the first time we would have human company in our home and it was almost surreal. Almost. Visitors as well which could only mean a safe guarding of the human. More trouble than we could possibly take at the moment. There was absolutely no need to worry.

"Oh, and Lilly, you shouldn't play baseball with us as we will have to buy a new bat and baseball."

I nodded and continued on my thoughts. Had the whole day passed by as I sat on the couch? I contemplated the passage of time. No, it must have only been an hour. Or more? I sighed in confusion.

That's when we heard the car swerve up and the doors slam.

We drifted away from the front room so that there wouldn't seem to be a huge party waiting for her, but we were all restless, waiting, watching, and sniffing the air for her delectable scent. Jasper lingered back the farthest, uneasy of his lust for blood. The door opened, the light flooded in, and to my worst of horrors, she appeared in the doorway hand in hand with Edward. Carlisle and Esme dissipated by the piano to greet them and her surprise was obvious as to the looks of our house. She had expected cobwebs and coffins. Silly human.

"You're very welcome, Bella." He stepped forward to her and shook her hand in a gentlemanly way.

"It's nice to meet you again, Dr. Cullen." Her voice was so kind. I was instantly jealous of it.

"Please, call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle." She smiled hugely for the whole world.

I placed my head up against the wall and focused on keeping my mind emotions from hating her. What was there not to like? She was pretty, courteous, and affectionate. If I wasn't eaten away by the fact that she stole the attention from me, then I would have adored her myself.

Esme shook hands with her then. "It's very nice to know you."

"Thank you. I'm glad to meet you, too." So nice.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?"

The moment Edward said it; Alice came bounding down the stairs to greet them. Alice kissed her cheek, making Esme and Carlisle's nerves jump to new heights. Jasper came in and comforted her but made no approach to shake her hand. Rosalie and Emmet had left so that was my signal. I came from the dining room, an odd place for me to be but no one took any notice. My hair slowly followed me in an airy fashion as I came face to face with her. I had composed a mask of tolerant indifference, but I hadn't the strength to be mean. I gave a weak smile and took her hand, more careful than usual as I was the strongest. I shook it once and let my eyes glance up to Edward.

"Bella, this is Lilly."

Bella nodded. "Nice to meet you."

"It's nice to finally meet you as well."

I had tuned them out until Edward sat down to play the piano. He looked as I had drawn him before only this time, he wasn't lonely. I couldn't understand what it was that she had brought him. I just couldn't wrap my mind around the concept of something so normal giving him pleasure in life.

His eyes glanced up to mine and I let them wander to the hallway. Retreating with as much dignity as I could muster, the whole family disappeared. I wandered into my own bedroom, putting on some music to calm myself, my French double doors wide open for public viewing. Onto my small settee I sank, playing with a freshly picked Lily that Esme had brought into my room while I was blankly glaring at my mural. I was that of a romanticized painting from that of a different era, my purple eyes watching the Lily in my hand, my hair splashed about my back, the vacant sun's ray barely touching my skin to make me glow. I wanted to pull the curtains closed when footsteps interrupted my wallowing in self pity.

Edward and Bella walked by my door, stopping only for a moment to show her my room. She was impressed but her eyes lingered on me. I forced no smile or recognition of her. Instead, I turned over and sniffed the Lily like a spoiled child ignoring her mother's orders to come down the stairs and present herself in a polite fashion. They were gone before I could even blink.

Alice came flittering about into my room with a wide grin on her face. "Ready for baseball?"

"I hate baseball." I grumbled out a lie.

"No, you're just angry that you can't play this time. Besides, we need someone to keep Bella company while she watches us play."

"Esme will be there."

Her eyebrow rose. "You are turning into our pig-headed sister Rosalie. Get off your bottom and come with us. I think Bella would be more comfortable with you there."

"Why?"

"Jasper felt her relax at the sight of you. We think it's because you're the most human of us all."

"Fine." I heaved a sigh but was somewhat enjoying being the most human of my family. "I shall attend."

"Great!" She flickered past, pressing a quick prick of a kiss onto my hair before going to spread the news of our baseball game.

I stood to go but as I left my room I could have sworn I heard him calling to me from the bedroom. "Not now, Corpus." I didn't even know I said it and I didn't care…


	10. More Baseball and Visitors

Thanks to Joreyna for revising. Enjoy.

* * *

Rosalie, Emmet, Esme and I all sat on a rock, waiting for Edward and Bella to arrive. Carlisle was marking our bases while Jasper and Alice threw a ball back and forth for practice.

A thought occurred to me as I sat there playing with my hair and drowning in my own jealousy. How could Bella stand to be around so many vampires at once? Didn't it frighten her? Wasn't she the least bit worried that one of us would snap off at her and drink her oddly delicious blood?

And Edward, too. Wasn't he afraid of getting to close? She was, after all, the particular scent that drove him mad. Not only that, but he could kill her with one small crush of his fingers.

I breathed in the scent of the field, the air moist with rain and heavy with its cold steam. This was where I had demonstrated my strength to them, even if only a small amount. I smiled happily at those memories, however frightening they seemed. I was happier then, thanks to Jasper. I should have just asked him to keep me happy forever, to make me calm for as long as I existed so that I wouldn't have to feel things like remorse—or jealousy.

We all heard laughter coming from the trees; their footsteps came behind us far off in the distance, hand in hand yet again. Rosalie strode off towards the bases while Emmet, Esme and I went to greet them.

"Was that you we heard, Edward?" Esme asked them, watching their stance and how shy Bella seemed.

I got the feeling that she was more worried about us liking her than us wanting to suck her blood. Alice had skipped over to us like the little fairy that she was. "It's time."

Thunder shook the sky before Alice and Emmet darted towards the field. Edward soon followed, leaving Bella to me and Esme.

"Shall we go down?" Esme asked, in her motherly voice that I so adored.

She looked to me and then to Esme as we walked over to the sidelines. "You don't play with them?"

"No, I prefer to referee—I like keeping them honest."

She glanced up at me and I realized she was waiting for my answer. I was so used to someone reading my mind and telling everyone else that I had forgotten how to speak up for myself. I laughed quickly and flashed a smile to her. "I'm not allowed to play."

She was confused.

I chuckled to myself darkly. "I'm too strong for the sport. I always burn the ball to smithereens or dent the bat."

She understood then, hiding a smile behind her lips. "Edward told me, that is your strength."

"And a difficult one it is." I whispered without even looking at her. I was watching the sky in all its rumbling glory.

Esme and Bella chatted for a bit, catching my attention only when she asked if she thought Esme minded that Bella was wrong for him.

"No. You're what he wants. It will work out, somehow." I could sense her worry and Bella could see it on her face.

Bella's glance was at me again. I took a breath which seemed to make her more relaxed. Esme went to start them on the game, leaving me with Bella. "You're not afraid?" I asked her, letting the full intensity of my eyes catch hers.

She lost her thought for a moment but came back to it once I blinked. "I'm more afraid that you won't like me."

"Me or the whole family?"

"Both. Edward said that you are the newest and most human of them all, so you feel a bit more deeply than the others. I can easily see why you wouldn't like me. And the others, well Edward already assured me that they liked me. With the exception of Rosalie."

I nodded. "Rosalie is a trifle." I glanced down at the ground, kicking the dirt. What was I to say, that _I_ liked her? I didn't…not yet at least. "You fit right in, so there's no worry of us not liking you."

I knew she wanted me to tell her straight out that I did or didn't like her. But I wasn't going to let the human have what she wanted. Not yet anyways.

Esme began to explain the rules to Bella and they watched with contentment. But all I could see was my jealousy blinding my eyes. My mother was not even paying attention to me. What a soiled little child I was. I was nineteen and jealous over my mother giving attention to another woman practically my age. It was ridiculous.

I focused my energy on not being angry, but that only made it worse. Damn humans, always getting in the way of my life. I should just leave right now and—

Alice gasped, Edward was at Bella's side and before my jealousy could even touch me again, I knew that we were to have trouble.

We had company.

"Alice?" Esme asked.

"I didn't see—I couldn't tell." She was whispering now.

The hair stood on the back of my neck. What was I going to do? I practically flipped when I met Heath's cousin, Melissa. I prayed to God that I wouldn't go ballistic and kill everything in my path—not like last time when I was frightened.

Edward's glance was only a second for me to have reassurance. I was what he needed. I nodded, and took hold of Bella's arm tightly, ignoring her small grimace of pain.

"How soon?" We were all looking at Edward now, his face in dire concentration.

"Less than five minutes. They're running—they want to play."

"Can you make it?"

Our eyes flicked to Bella.

"No, not carrying—" He stopped mid-sentence, obviously thinking of an attack. "Besides, the last thing we need is for them to catch the scent and start hunting."

"How many?" The question was directed to Alice this time.

"Three."

That was just enough to get me frightened, and just enough for my heart to kick start. Carlisle heard it, the small flickered beating of one second, and wonder spread across his face for a moment. But it passed just as quickly as the clouds and he turned back to the situation at hand.

Emmet's muscle flexed and bid them to come.

"No." I whispered. It was the first time I had spoke in a few minutes and my voice was a bomb to their ears. "I'll carry her. I'll take her."

Edward's head shook violently. "No, they will come after you, hunt you down. You're too inexperienced."

"Inexperienced?" The thoughts of what I had done, who I had killed, splashed across my memories. He saw them at once, his face grimacing. He didn't want to see anything like that at the moment, so I shut the memories down and waited for my orders.

"Let's just continue the game," Carlisle decided for us before Edward or Alice could make any rash decisions.

"You catch, Esme. I'll call it now." He stood in front of Bella before turning to me.

"_They won't be coming from behind so there's no need to worry about the back. Go play."_

I said nothing as I flitted past him in a rush towards the field. I planted myself on the outskirts of the field, not really paying attention to the game at all. I watched as Bella placed her hair in front of her face. That did little to keep her scent from coming into my nostrils. I could smell her just as if she were standing next to me. Even her heart was notable over the crack of the thunder.

"_Are they thirsty?"_ I asked Edward.

"_No."_ His answer was immediate, strained, and full of stress.

The footsteps drew right up to the edge of the trees. The game was lost. We all turned to face the trees to meet them head on. Out came two males and a female, more inquisitive than ready for a battle. I was afraid of what I would do to them if they drew close to me with their scrutinizing eyes. Fear was playing into my bloodstream now and no matter how thick Jasper laid on the calm, I was still a rush with apprehension.

Laurent appeared to be the leader, his muscular body quite enticing and his quick smile warm. James, the second male, was plain and average proving to not only me but also Bella that not every vampire was beautiful. And the woman, Victoria, she was the wild one. Her fiery red hair was a marvel to me. Their posture was that of a catlike stance, always ready to pounce it seemed.

They made small talk, Carlisle using the same professional behavior that he did at work, keeping each sentence short of any revelations they might pick up about our feeding preferences and our odd human pet.

The breeze rippled across the field, Edward was as stiff as a board, and James was now examining Bella with his nostrils flared out. Down Edward and James scrunched into a crouching defense against the other, their snarls that of wild beasts from Africa. Neither removed their stance.

"You brought a snack?" Laurent asked, an expression of surprise covering his face.

Edward's lip curled back and he growled with ferocity that I could recall from some distant memory in my past.

"I said she's with us." Carlisle directed this towards James who had only moved slightly to one side.

"But she's _human_." Astonishment was now his expression.

For a few moments, all seemed to calm. Maybe they would join them back home for a cup of tea and crumpets.

"_As soon as we turn to leave, watch them. Go with Esme and Carlisle. Keep them entertained."_ Edward ordered to me. I didn't look at him, just simply waited. This wasn't going to be a simple resolution. No, something much more dangerous was to occur.

Carlisle then called to us. "We'll show you the way. Jasper, Rosalie, Esme, Lilly?"

We all formed a blockade around Bella and in only seconds they were moving across the field. I followed Carlisle and Esme, not speaking a word. James walked behind us with Victoria making it apparent that they were together. After some time they excused themselves, claiming their hunger suddenly ravenous. That was partially true and yet it was a lie. They were gone with the wind leaving Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, Laurent and I to head off towards the house.

Laurent turned to me and I knew this was what Edward was talking about. Not to keep just them entertained, but Laurent in particular. He wanted me to turn him neutral on being interested in Bella. Two was much easier to deal with than three.

We strode along through the trees at a practical thirty miles per hour ratio towards the house. "I take it you are the newest addition to the family?"

I endured a long stare from him before answering. "Yes, about three years."

He eyed me with interest, something I was unused to from our kind. Sure, humans eyed me all the time, but never an immortal. I guess that was because I had been with my family so long that I became normal to them and no longer interesting, which was perfectly fine with me as I didn't like to be observed all the time.

"You've never tasted anything but animals?"

"It's a difficult way of living, but it is much easier to mingle with humans this way."

We were quiet for a while until we reached home. He viewed it respectively, taking in our scents and even Bella's. At last he turned to us with questions. "How do you keep from tasting her?"

"We don't see her as food." Jasper commented, taking a turn about the living room.

We were all silent then except for Carlisle who shortly answered all of Laurent's questions. Rosalie's fury was more than Jasper could quiet. Esme and Carlisle's worry was mounting into a heap of hopeless plans to keep Bella safe. And I was standing in the midst of this all, trying desperately not to hurt anyone or anything because of my boiling strength. We were also growing extremely worried as to where and what Edward was going to do with Bella. Laurent, as well, was becoming increasingly apologetic as to his friend's behavior. He was just then beginning to grasp the terror of what James meant to do.

The truck pulled up then, the doors opening quickly. James' scent was not far off, but I was comforted in the knowledge that he would not attack at the moment. My apprehension was slowly declining due to Laurent's fearful movements of what was to come. My blood ceased to boil and I was yet again as an iceberg.

They came in through the front door at once and Emmet growled at the sight of Laurent.

"He's tracking us." If glares could kill, Laurent would be the target of assassination.

"I was afraid of that."

Laurent, as we soon found out, could do nothing to stop James. His life was tracking and there was nothing that could get in the way of it. We also came to learn that Laurent was not the leader. It was, in fact, James himself. It was the perfect façade to keep us from finding out anything about their coven while they would learn so much more about us.

"Go in peace." Carlisle finally ordered to Laurent who was departing with a wistful glance at me.

Laurent was gone. Now it was just the family as it had been hours before. Only now, there was a life at stake.

"How close?" And the planning began.

Esme was already on top of securing the house, bringing up the steel metal shutters that I had never seen before but knew were there.

"About three miles out past the river; he's circling around to meet up with the female."

"What's the plan?"

"We'll lead him off, and then Jasper and Alice will run her south."

"And then?" Carlisle was hurrying along his phrases, slow enough for Bella to hear but quickly enough for us to think.

"As soon as Bella is clear, we hunt him."

"I guess there is no other choice." And there wasn't any other choice. Either we killed him, or he killed Bella. I didn't like Bella that much yet, but I would be damned if anyone were to kill her. The thought of peering into Edward's eyes if Bella no longer existed…

"Get her upstairs and trade clothes."

Rosalie was abrupt with disbelief. She was obviously not going to take any part in helping to save Bella.

"Why should I? What is she to me? Except a menace—a danger you've chosen to inflict on all of us."

I wanted to agree with Rosalie, but I somehow couldn't. My jealousy was still intact, however, as I realized this entire situation was all about Bella Swan.

Esme took Bella up the stairs instead to change her clothes. As soon as they went up the stairs and around the corner, Edward took me to my own room and threw me a bag. "Get whatever it is you need."

It took me no time to realize what Edward was going to use me for. He was making me go with him, go _hunt_ with him. I threw inconspicuous clothes into the bag and threw on a long black coat, tying my hair into a ponytail. Down the stairs we fled, the bags already packed with sleeping bags, a tent, and other various supplies. I flung them around my shoulders. The weight would have crushed an average mortal, but it was as light as a feather to me.

"Esme and Rosalie will be taking your truck, Bella." Rosalie wasn't too pleased about the idea, but there was no time for that. "Alice, Jasper—take the Mercedes. You'll need the dark tint in the south."

They nodded.

"We're taking the Jeep."

Bella's face was struck with her own fear as the thought dawned on her. Edward, Carlisle and I made up the hunting party.

After it was made sure that they would be tracking us and not Bella, Carlisle ordered our leave. I watched as Edward took Bella into his arms and kissed her. I had forgotten that Edward was not just my brother, but a male. Not only that, a boyfriend to this human. Wasn't he afraid of killing her right then? Though it would be convenient and we could all continue our lives, it wasn't right to kiss her.

But the kiss was only a moment long and before she could even comprehend his actions, we were gone.


	11. Understanding

You readers are amazing though you don't review. But, um, just want to say thanks for checking this out. And for those two of you who do, thank you. Oh and I just want to say that I love all the Twi-hards because without you (and me) our world would be dull and inattentive to detail. You rock.

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The jeep hummed along the bumpy roads. I stared at Edward, watching him with an intense gaze filled with wonder and bewilderment. His jaw was in a tight line, his eyes zeroed in on only what was in front of him. He looked so worried to me, so lost in his own thoughts that I felt the pain of it. He loved this girl, and yet it confused me.

"So, what's the game plan?" I finally asked my voice meeker than Bella's.

He glanced up in the rear view mirror at me and then looked back at the road. "We lead James north as far as he will go."

"He's following us?"

I was answered with one nod.

"And the female?"

"Victoria is following Esme and Rosalie's scent west." He paused. "Why was Laurent thinking you would join him in Denali?"

"You would know better than I would."

"True. I knew this was going to be a problem."

My face muddled into confusion yet again. "What is?"

"Your — availability."

"But…I'm not really available. I mean —"

"They don't know that. To their eyes, you're an underground goddess who could possibly offer some amusement."

"I don't understand."

"I'll explain later when I'm not so busy."

I blushed. _Damn_. I couldn't blush at _all_; only sink further into my skin. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize."

A long moment passed between us. "Edward, can I ask you a question?"

The jeep fumbled over the rocks beneath us and he didn't answer until we were driving on smooth pavement. "If I answer, will you warm up to the idea of me being in love with a human?"

That meant he already knew what I was going to ask. "Yes, I think it will."

"I love her because she is the first thing that there is to love in this existence. A century filled with loneliness that I'm sure you understand," his eyes flashed to me in the mirror, "is not enjoyable in the least. But it is because she isn't afraid of me, willing to die just to be near me that reels me in. Because her heart beats so violently when I'm with her, because those infinitesimal moments that she's with me make the human world stop, because of the peace she brings me, because of the endurance she has to be with me, that is why I love her. I have found someone that doesn't think me a monster, that loves me for me and she is mine…that is why I love her. Do you understand now?"

I nodded slowly. I understood then and it wasn't a lie. Jealous, yes, of the love he had for her because I wanted that love. But that explanation said it all. Bella was his everything in the sappiest of ways. And I craved what he had and knew that, at one point in time, I had it too. A love like theirs had existed but it — it didn't work out somehow. Something went wrong in that long ago century. Something that set my body in a blaze when I thought about it. But no matter how much pain it would render me, I lusted for it once more.

"I see." Edward said making me jump. He scowled at me for that but didn't comment on my mortal behavior. "You've had this sort of thing happen to you before."

"Yes, once. Not in my human existence but a long time ago." The memories shuffled before me uncontrollably. "I remember only one thing about it, however. It made my heart beat uncontrollable like Bella's. It was liquid fire and all around me, everything I was, belonged to him. But then the memory fades and I cannot recall what happened to me after that."

"It shall be interesting to watch your memories come back."

The conversation was over then, and all we did was stare out the windows. Carlisle and Emmett had been silent the whole time, Carlisle staring out the car windows and Emmett watching me with a stare — probably thinking I was odd. A question suddenly came to Carlisle's mind and he was hesitant to ask it. "In your mural, Lilly, I recognized that all the men were wearing tunics and the women wearing corsets and tattered skirts. Judging upon the style of clothing and the accuracy of it, you painted a sixteenth century replica of a village scene as if you had seen it with your own eyes. Why is that?"

I knew Edward and Emmett wouldn't be paying attention to a word I said, so I spoke freely without regret. "I think — now don't laugh at me. But I _think_…I was reincarnated."

I grimaced, waiting for him to double over in laughter. Yet, to my surprise, he nodded in agreement. I shouldn't have been surprised really. Carlisle was open to many things in which case Edward was not. Therefore, my ability to speak my mind with Carlisle was a bit less embarrassing, though Edward could just read mine anyway. "I think that is quite possible."

"You don't think I'm nuts?"

"I do." Emmett interjected. So he _had_ been listening that little —

Carlisle interrupted my train of thought. "No. I'm curious as to who you were though."

"I think I was myself, in mind, spirit and body, come back from hell."

Carlisle blanched at the word. "Hell?"

"Yes," I drew in a sharp breath, "I don't think I was mortal at the time of my death."

Carlisle nodded, taking all I had said into his sponge of a mind. There were no further questions and no further curiosities; though I'm sure he was itching to know what I thought about our afterlives. We were to now focus on the impeding terror at hand, Bella's safety. I veiled my thoughts well enough to keep Edward from sideways glancing at me. Edward barely said two words to me or Carlisle, his focus all on Bella. So, I busied my time, if that was what you could call it, with sniffing the air and strategically planning out different attacks from all sides, all the while understanding more and more of Edward's obsessive love for Bella. Emmett and I practiced attacking each other, stifling our laughter at the fun we were having.

Edward soon wanted to call them, but Carlisle advised against it because of what it might give Bella — false hope. Besides, we had tracking to do and Edward needed his mind to settle on one creature, James.

Esme called a few minutes later to give us a report. The female had been to Bella's house, but Charlie was fine. She had been to the school, the airport, and every road in town but she couldn't find a single thing. She hung up so we could continue our plans.

And then the moment changed. Edward's head snapped up and ordered for Carlisle to call Alice, now.

Carlisle was already speaking to Alice when I turned my attention to him. "Is Bella alright?" His eyes moved over Edward.

"Yes." Alice's voice came from the other end. Her mood changed to that of assurance, giving me the slightest doubt that Bella was mentally alright. "I just saw him." Her voice became a blur but I comprehended each word. She saw James watching a TV screen in a room full of mirrors. "Whatever made him get on that plane…it was leading him to those rooms."

"Let me speak to Bella." Edward interrupted.

"May Edward speak to Bella?"

"Yes," a small pause, "Bella?"

There was no time at all that passed when Bella's voice came across the phone, making me wonder if she didn't have any superhuman powers herself. "Hello?"

"Bella."

"Oh, Edward! I was so worried."

"Bella, I told you not to worry about anything but yourself."

She was silent for a moment and I knew then that it was almost impossible for her to not worry about anything. She was such a worry wart. "Where are you?"

"We're outside of Vancouver. Bella, I'm sorry — we lost him. He seems suspicious of us — he's careful to stay just far enough away that I can't hear what he's thinking. But he's gone now — it looks like he got on a plane. We think he's heading back to Forks to start over."

"I know. Alice saw that he got away."

"You don't have to worry, though. He won't find anything to lead him to you. You just have to stay there and wait till we find him again."

"I'll be fine. Is Esme with Charlie?"

"Yes — the female has been in town. She went to the house, but while Charlie was at work." He explained what Victoria had been doing and reassured Bella that her father would be alright with Esme and Rosalie keeping watch.

I tuned out then, not wanting to intrude on their conversation any further. They would claim they loved each other. That was something I couldn't stand to hear. I walked off into the trees, absorbing every small piece of nature my eyes would allow, the wind whistling through my ponytail. This place was — familiar. I had seen these trees before, but then again, I had seen _a lot_ of trees in my lifetime.

"We need to leave." Carlisle interjected in my thoughts at two-thirty. I had stood in the same spot for hours, unmoving, just listening to the small whispers on the wind that occasionally said my name — and then Corpus'. "We're boarding the first flight to Seattle."

"Why? Did something change?"  
"He's heading towards Bella's mother's house and we need to be there before he tries anything."

"Isn't she in Florida?"

"We aren't entirely sure; she could be flying home as we speak."

We loaded into the car all the while saying nothing. The ride was like a grave, each one anxious for what was to come. Edward wanted Bella in his arms, to hold her and promise that everything would be alright. Carlisle wanted to make sure his family wouldn't be split apart. Emmett wanted to kick James's ass into oblivion. And I…I wanted to just be with my family. To have no tension and no confusion, no killers and curious enemies —no worry and no fear. Onto the plane we boarded, the human mouths dropping at the sight of us. It brought to mind again the wonder if every vampire was beautiful. I didn't _feel_ beautiful and I didn't feel as if I _appeared_ beautiful either. But to the average human eye, I supposed I was.

The clouds zipped past Edward and me, neither one of us paying any attention. "Edward?" My voice was coarse.

"Yes?"

I could have sworn his was too, but it could have just been an overwhelming amount of worry. I swallowed my spit and liked my lips though neither one was needed. "I'm glad that you found Bella and I'm sorry I was so jealous. I'm sure you understand."

I could hear him nod while his eyes searched my bowed face, my hair not shielding me from it that time. If I asked a tear to come, would it obey me? I had been such a child, such an idiot and now…

I hadn't been watching his facial expressions, but I felt his cold marble hand on mine. We comforted each other and to my grateful surprise we were almost there. He was so close to Bella that —

"What?" Edward asked into the receiver of his cell phone.

"It's Bella. She's gone to the ballet studio. James has her mother…I saw her death."

Edward, Emmett, Carlisle, and I stiffened at the word. We had ten minutes until landing. Would we make it? Could we save her? I felt like crying, afraid of what that would mean if she died. We wouldn't be able to turn her, to make her one of us in time.

We were on edge the entire time, the stewardesses ignoring asking us for trash or if we needed anything. They were all watching our faces, our statuesque stillness, and our eyes straight forward. They couldn't hear the argument we were having in our head's on what to do, what the best course was. The moment we landed was the moment we shoved past the people. I could care less if I broke an arm or two with a mere push of my elbow. They couldn't catch us even if we tried. We fled in our gang of four down the flights of stairs and outside where the sun would have glinted off our skin if we weren't moving with that of an unnatural force. I hadn't even noticed Alice and Jasper joining us on our inhuman sprint, but that didn't matter. We were minutes away from Bella's old ballet studio. In different circumstances I would have been amused by her doing ballet as she was the most ungraceful person in the world.

Her screams came to us then, driving us faster. That scream…

It reminded me of mine once. Of pain, desperation, knowing that it was time to die. I ran faster, catching up with Edward, our feet not touching the ground. We had to stop the screaming.

Through a window we smashed, Edward calling her name at once. James crouched beside her, his mouth upon Bella's wrist. Emmett removed James, thrusting him into the opposite wall. Carlisle and Edward moved over Bella while Jasper, Alice, Emmett and I moved in on James. He was no match for the four of us. It was_ his_ time to die. My hand reached out and took hold of his arm and for the first time in what seemed like centuries, I tore him apart with my brother's and sisters. His screaming was tolerable. He _deserved_ to die for all the trouble he had caused us, caused Bella.

Into a different room we gathered him, the broken pieces of rock, and lit him on fire. I watched the flames of purple that strongly smelled of death to me, but to a human I believed it would smell like sweetened incense. But then the thought of Bella came to me once again and I was crouched over her in no time. Edward had sucked the poison out of her to the point of cleanliness.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked as we all watched her, her cuts bleeding and her foot bound up in what looked like a makeshift cast.

"What?"

"Where is your mother?"

"In Florida. He tricked me, Edward. He watched our videos." She was quiet for a moment, her senses coming back to her. "I smell gasoline."

Carlisle looked up at Edward. "It's time to move her."  
"No, I want to sleep."

"You can sleep, sweetheart, I'll carry you." Edward's eyes had never left Bella's face the moment we found her. She was all he could see, I realized. He picked her up gracefully, cradling her in his arms and off we moved to the nearest hospital.


	12. Unfortunate Innocent

Thank you to all those who review and read. Thanks Joreyna.

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My paintbrush moved with fury over the mural of my family. I couldn't get Bella's expression just right, and I was more frustrated than anyone could imagine.

"They're coming home now." Alice said to me, frowning at my rigorous scribbling. "Why can't you get her face right?"

"Because," I grit my teeth, "she's human."

The door opened and with it, bringing Bella and her leg in a cast. They seemed to have been sharing a joke when I stomped up to Bella, picking her up by her shoulders (much to Edward's dismay) and placed her by my mural. I positioned her the way she was in my mural, but it still wasn't right. I took Edward's arm and pushed him forward, positioning both of them the way they were in the painting behind them. Bella still didn't understand what I was doing and I wasn't about to explain or she would blush and refuse me to paint her. She had this thing about "not being anywhere near comparison to us Gods and Goddesses".

"Now, Bella, don't look at Edward just yet. I want you to slowly lift your eyes to him when I tell you to." A minute passed with her confusion mounting. "Now."

He eyes slowly scanned up to Edward's face and there it was. The look I had wanted to capture. It was pure awe as her breath disconnected itself from her lungs. My paintbrush glided over the wall, Bella's face coming to life before my eyes. A huge smile played about my lips as I put on the finishing touches. Stepping back, I surveyed my work. Alice and I nodded our heads.

"They look more like themselves in the mural than in real life." Alice laughed with me as both of them turned around to see what I had been doing.

Bella shook her head. "Please, take this down."

"Why?" I whispered, feigning fresh hurt in my voice.

"I don't belong in it. I don't…fit."

"You fit better than any of us." Edward whispered in her ear, taking hold of her waist and drawing her to him. "Stop complaining and thank Lilly."

"Thank you." Bella forced sincerity and though it was strained, it was truthful. She would sit for long minutes and view Edward's face on the wall, completely in love with it. It was only fair that I put her in her rightful place — by his side.

"You're very welcome!" I beamed at her before cleaning up my art supplies. But then I remembered that I had to hurry and leave before Edward could bring up the one subject I didn't want to hear.

"Bye Edward! Bye Bella! Alice!" I dashed for the stairs but luck wasn't with me this time.

"Lilly." Edward's velvet voice called from the stairs below. I couldn't not answer as he would just find me later, no matter how far I ran this time.

"Yes?"

"Come down here, please."

I obeyed like a guilty child and thumped down the steps, awaiting my fate. His heat-full gaze was glued to me; much like Bella was to his side. "You _are_ going to school tomorrow."

I folded my arms in defiance. "You can't make me."

"I _will_ use force if necessary."

"Fine." My lips pursed themselves into a line of disapproval.

"Why haven't you been going to school?" Bella asked, curiosity claiming her attention.

Edward beat me to the punch. "She is avoiding Heath asking her to prom as it is only two weeks away."

I scowled at him and stomped off down the hall when a voice came to me from Carlisle's office. "Lilly?"

I turned around, surprised, and found myself walking into Carlisle's office. Esme was perched like a Roman Goddess on my adoptive father's desk with a kind smile perched on her lips. I went to her and hugged her, wrapping my fingers into her hair.

"Such a silly human." She chuckled to herself.

I wasn't human but my mortal-like qualities proved that otherwise. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, my little love." She hopped off the desk and took my hand. "I wanted to speak to you about something you said to Carlisle, something you said about Hell."

I gulped. Would she reprimand me for thinking we went to Hell? "You want to know what I think about it."

She nodded.

"I," a gulp slivered its way down my throat, "believe that there is an outer darkness that we — go to. There's no particular world underground where the evil spirits roam, more of an outer space where there is nothing but darkness. And there…there is pain, the licking of flames to our souls, the despair of loneliness." I turned my eyes towards the paintings on Carlisle's wall before speaking again. "But, then again, haven't we felt all of those things before? So, that leads me to believe that this is it. This _is_ hell. Our lives are hell. We felt the fires when we were turned. We live in the darkness, in the outer recesses of the world, never being able to quite fit even though we try. And the loneliness, that's the worst part. Especially for those of us who know it inside and out, who rocked back and forth in the corners of that darkness and prayed for someone to let us age, eat, drink, sleep, cry, and die.

"That's why I have accepted that Bella is the best thing on this Earth for Edward because she is the light that shines on him. She is the liquid to still the fire, the filler for his void."

Esme had closed her eyes to picture what I was saying, her form entirely still. "I understand."

"However, I have so much time to figure it out. So…much…time."

I wanted to kneel down and stare off into space because at that moment, my heart felt heavier than it ever had. I never stopped to think about it too much, to think about the time I possessed. I had all the time in the world to live a thousand lives. I had millenniums to see, wars to experience, independence to be won.

"Come back, Lilly. Thoughts like that can render a soul unconscious. Not that you haven't been there before." She stroked my cheek and pushed me out the door.

* * *

Light sparkled through the trees along with my skin. The smell of crisp morning's dew on the grass outside as I made my way to the center of our baseball field. I just stood there, smelling the sweet scents of mist and rain soon to come. I pulled my hair from its loose bun and shook my head, letting it splash down my back.

I sighed. There was nothing I could do to stop this. But, a part of me couldn't help but be curious as to how Heath would ask me. Surely he knew that I wouldn't be able to give him anything but friendship. What did it matter? I was in love with someone else.

Gah! I was in love with a mural and nothing more. There was no true love that emanated from it! _What's wrong with you? You know Corpus is real. He's waiting for you._

Yes, but where? And did I even know that this Corpus was good? That he was not going to use me for some ulterior motive? It would make sense, after all, that someone would. I was always the weapon for someone's plan of mass destruction.

"Lilly!" Alice called from the edge of the trees. "If you don't come here right now, I will get the entire family out here and drag you to school!"

Taking one last sniff of the air around me, I left my solace to where Alice stood. She took my hand in a grip that was unworldly, dragging me back to the house and into the car. Luckily, I had dressed well enough to her taste so that she wouldn't feel the need to dress me herself.

Rosalie was driving the car with Emmett in the front and I wasn't above admitting that I hated riding in the back with two other stone statues, cramped to one side and unable to get comfortable.

I was much annoyed now by the fact that we all drove to school. I wanted to drive my own car and have my own freedom. I supposed it would take a lot of guts to ask Carlisle for permission, though I doubted he would deny me it.

As soon I closed the car door, Edward was by my side, Bella under his arm, with the most amused face on the planet. "So, should I get you a car now, or wait until your birthday?"

My mouth dropped. Bella seemed excited for me though as she usually would be. Always excited for someone else getting gifts and never herself. "What kind do want me to get you? A conservative car like mine or something distracting like Rosalie's? Or possibly big and bulky like Emmett's jeep."

"You don't have to, Edward. It was just a fleeting thought, nothing more."

That wasn't going to stop him. He would go through with his plan which was probably already in place and in motion. "No, this is something I will quite enjoy. Alice, will she allow me to buy her a car?"

Alice concentrated for a moment, coming back in a few short seconds. "Most definitely."

I was overcome by dread as I sat in my first period in the back with Edward. I hung my head, knowing full well that the day would progress in this same state. I was doomed, damned, shunned into the pits of despair. I took my notes without paying attention and ignored Edward's smirks and his interjections into my thoughts. He had something to do with this, I knew it. But what was it?!

Second period came. It seemed the whole school was aware of my abnormal paleness that day and the look in my eyes that could kill. My eyes scanned the crowd for him. I wouldn't be able to ignore him if he had a big goofy sign with cheesy balloons or something. I sat wearily at my desk in second period just itching to bite my hand in frustration. _Please, please, please don't let him do something to give me shame for the rest of my existence!_ It was pointless to beg. I couldn't even cry so that was no way of getting my frustration out.

The announcements came on then, the Vice Principle's dull voice dragging on for a minute or two until she was cut off by something else. It sounded like an intro to a song, the acoustic playing clearly on the speakers.

"Have you seen this girl? This girl with the long brown hair and purple eyes that sees everyone but me? She's been here for quite a while, this girl, but she's blind to the fact that every male loves her, lusts her, hugs her in his mind. She's one of the Cullen's, one of The Classicals, but she's the first one to break the ice, to make things warm, to make us comfortable. She may appear pale but I see the blush that gushes under her cheeks when she thinks about something no one else would want to know. There's a bravery unnoticed, a selflessness as her motive. Her graceful movements entrance us, enhance us, putting America's finest models to shame. But she doesn't realize how beautiful she is, how easily she could have been his. And for this I have fallen though she doesn't see me. But I have a chance and that would be prom, so I'm begging Lilly Cullen will you please tag along?"

I had sunken into my hands; blinding my blushing face which I'm sure no immortality curse could discard me of. The whole class was watching me with open mouths, but no one was silent. The girls were awing and commenting on the adorableness of the entire situation. The guys were waiting for me to say no as I was obviously a top choice for them, along with Bella.

Edward who had been stifling his triumphant laughter jabbed me in the ribs. "We're all waiting for the verdict."

I slowly dragged my eyes from the privacy of my pale fingers and looked up to see the whole class about to faint. No one was breathing. What the hell was all this nonsense about?! It wasn't like I had been proposed to for god's sakes! "I…uh…well," I gulped, "yes?"

The whole class erupted in a ruckus of claps and cheers. Heath opened the door then and wasn't surprised to see me buried in my arms. He held out a single Lily to me. A black Lily. Why, oh why, did he have to know me so well as to buy me a black Lily? He was like the perfect morbid date. I was almost positive we would be dressed in black — all black. He didn't have to ask to know what my answer was. I reluctantly took the Lily without looking at him. He bent down and kissed my cheek, unshaken by its deathly exterior. Had he figured it out that I was immortal? Or maybe because his entire family was like this that it didn't bother him? That had to be it.

"I could get into a lot of trouble for this, you know." He mumbled as I refused to look at him.

"Sorry, it's just that I'm not used to attention."

"I doubt it." He laughed under his breath. "Your brother will fill you in on the other details when you finally start breathing."

He disappeared without my knowledge but I was laughing. Like I needed to breath. I would just hold my breath for the rest of the day and —

"_Don't act like such a child. I'm bound to tell you what he wants you to know anyways."_

"_Fine, but spare me for the rest of the day by not talking to me. I don't want anyone to look, touch, talk, calm me, see my future, or read my thoughts!"_

His attempt at hiding his smile was weak, which for him was almost impossible as he was the master of composing his features into a mask of indifference. _"I'll pass the word on. You are a bit like Bella in that sense which is creepy for me."_

"_Then don't think of me as Bella. Now, get on with it. What is it he wants you to tell me."_

"_Two things. One would be what he verbally said and the other would be what he mentally said, both of which have two different meanings. The first being that he will pick you up around six, take you to dinner at some snooty restaurant in Seattle, take you to the dance and then bring you home responsibly."_

The grin that touched his eyes came with full force. The second part wasn't going to be appropriate, I could tell. _"His mind was screaming all the things he was going to do for you. His parents aren't home much, so they leave him loads of money to blow on random entertainments and he has decided to occupy a VIP room that overlooks the harbor. He is renting a limo, which for Forks is highly extravagant. After the dance he is planning on stopping, hiking up a forest side that overlooks the twinkling lights of the city and getting a kiss from you."_

I just about died in my seat. Not only was that knowledge on the TMI scale, but it was coming from my _brother_. I was speechless. He wanted to kiss me? Did he have any idea what he was getting himself into?

I ignored my family for the rest of the day, boiling in my grudge. _Unlike_ Bella, I was able to remain angry for quite some time. I was courteous to those that congratulated me as if I was having a child, but said not one word to Alice. She was upset by the end of the day and pestering me to speak.

"We know you're mad at us for helping him, but you're acting like a child! Heath is going to be depressed if you keep acting like this. And, I'm positive of it."

However distressed I was by my siblings dealings in my life, I put on a mask of no emotion, playing with a small smirk to make it seemed as if I were amused. Bella just stared. "Not you too!" She meekly cried the second I glanced in her direction.

"What?"

"You're the only one who has human emotions, the only one I can look at to see what's going on within the family. I hate it when you wear masks."

"I promise to take it off when we get home. You are still joining us tonight, right?"

She nodded. "Yes, for a Cullen feast."

"Well, it's more of a 'Bella Swan' feast as _I_ am making food for _you_."

"This is going to be interesting." Edward grumbled under his breath.

I refused to speak until Alice grasped my shoulder with the largest grin on her face. "Why don't we invite Heath?! To a 'Meet the Parents' sort of thing?"

I was already protesting when the whole family decided to join in and agree that it was a fantastic idea. To them, it was simply picking his brain apart and seeing what a threat his family was to us, but to me this was a nightmare. "Please, please don't do this!"

"Hey, Heath!" Emmet called to Heath who was mingling with his own crowd of boys. Needless to say they were the best looking boys of school besides us Cullen's and Heath was their leader. No wonder, what with his shaggy hair and impeccable style. We Cullen's, except for Alice, were very simple in our dress. But Heath was a different story. He was the best dressed of school.

His inquiring blue eyes came up to meet mine before I glanced away. He nodded to us, said something to his friends that threw them into a rock of laughter, and made his way towards us. I was pushed out to the front like an unwilling child awaiting her beating.

"Hey, what's up?" Heath asked, a smile of knowledge hinting at the corners of his mouth.

"I…I…uh."

"You don't usually stammer, so I take it I make you nervous which for you Cullen's is virtually impossible. I must have some power." He rocked back on his heels and gave me a flawless smirk. I wondered what he wanted to do when he got out of Forks. Possibly become some model?

_No idiot, I'm trying to keep myself from saying "Do you want to die tonight, Sidney?"_ "Um, I was just wondering if you would like to join my family and me for dinner. I'm cooking…"

_Please say no._ I couldn't live with myself if he were to be killed. His eyes flashed to the group of waiting vampires behind me. "I would love to." He was silent for a moment, waiting for me to answer. "How do I get there?"

"Actually, Lilly, why don't you two go shopping for grocery supplies?"

_Damn you Alice!_ "Sure, but what car am I taking?"

"That's alright, I'll drive." Heath was too quick to answer.

"See you tonight then!" Emmett called out, closing the set date and forcing me to come to terms with what my family was doing to me. I would be dead long before Heath could push up his own daisies.

I hugged my leather bag closer to my side and headed off awkwardly with Heath. My mask was once again in place and I was able to focus on what I was going to say to him. Heath walked us over to where his friends stood, but my hearing was attentive to my retreating family who threw quick glances my way.

"She fits in so well." I heard Rose whisper to Alice.

Alice turned to her without moving her eyes from me. "Poor unfortunate Lilly. Too innocent to realize how life was ripped from her."

I wasn't sure if they had meant me to hear that, probably not. But what Alice didn't understand was the life I had gained from this eternal curse. I would have never experienced dating, family, or a life if not for this kiss of death. And for that, I loved what I was. I loved being a vampire.

"Lilly, this is Luke, Henry, Greg, and Julian." Heath motioned to all the handsome humans with a smile that could warm the soul, if I had one.

They all nodded and said hello, their eyes moving over me with questions and male lust. As we turned to leave, Heath having turned down his plans with them, Julian leaned over to his ear.

"Have fun." He whispered, thinking I wouldn't hear.

I clamped my mouth shut from whipping out a sarcastic comment. Heath took a hold of my arm and guided me towards his Isuzu Rodeo, opening the door for me and helping me up into it. I ignored the stares from my classmates as we waited in line to leave the parking lot. My family was already gone and I was now completely alone with a male. This was a first in my entire lifetime and I was almost positive that I wasn't ready. Yet, being with Heath wasn't as nerve-racking as I had imagined. He was playing some Indie band that I was secretly in love with, driving with the windows down to let the freezing wind lather up and down his arms, one hand guiding the steering wheel, and looking completely relaxed.

"That was really sweet, what you did." I said to break our somewhat normal silence. "That song — it was really good."

"I wrote it a long time ago but I never had a chance to sing it for you. You and your family are — close."

"Inseparable. Until now."

"Are you mad about that?"

"No, it's actually nice not having anyone listening to my every thou — word — as if it meant the world to them." This was going to be tricky in pretending I was human. "How long?"

"How long what?"

"Have you liked me?"

"Since freshman year. But, I was young then and didn't really have the guts to ask you out. Plus you were quite, intimidating. You didn't look like a freshman, but I guess I've caught up with you."

"Oh, well it's a good thing you hadn't asked me until now, though you didn't really ask me out."

"No, I didn't. But you did." He shot me a quick grin before we entered the grocery store parking lot.

I didn't answer. Did he not realize that my family forced me into this whole mess? Or was he ignoring it because of that simple fact? He opened the door for me and inside we went to pick out food. I was actually grateful that Heath was there because I had no idea where everything was. I knew what the food was called and how much I needed, but I had no idea where to find it. Heath and I spent most of our time picking up items and not really talking until the ride home. I had to give him directions so that kept my mouth busy.

When we pulled up to the house, he was shocked. "I thought your family lived in some mansion, but I'm not going to lie. This is _way_ better than a mansion."

"Yeah, it pays to be a doctor." _And part of the dead._

"Shall we?" He grabbed the remaining bags, eyeing the bags I held with little consternation.

The door opened before I could even skillfully reach for the handle. My whole family was waiting for us, all statues in various places about the room. I refused to stay in the same room to watch my parents greet the poor boy who liked me. Instead, I moved off towards the kitchen with Bella and Edward in tow.

"Aren't you afraid Heath might want to help and suddenly cut himself, giving Jasper a perfectly good reason to go mad?" Bella asked with a worried expression I knew so well.

"Ask my brother." I grumbled while unloading the bags.

"He will be perfectly alright. Lilly would be able to keep Heath from any damage, but if something does happen…well, then that means we will have to turn him."

I ogled my eyes at him in horror.

"I'm sure his parents wouldn't mind. Save them the trouble."

"That is absolutely terrible." Bella whispered.

Edward shook his head. "No, Bella. It's not like that. His whole family is like us. He's the last remaining human of his relatives."

"Well, where is everyone else?"

"A little place in Italy. Now stop fussing over Heath and watch Lilly make your dinner."

They both took a seat at the bar and watched me begin my home cooked meal of tri-tip, gnocchi, asparagus, shrimp and other various expensive foods that Bella rarely ate.

"Why are you doing this again?"

I stirred the gnocchi before answering. "Because it makes me feel human."

"I know what you mean. It feels like life is on fast-forward and we're just guinea pigs for Mr. Banner's experiments." That was not a voice that was filled with immortal song.

Heath came forward, completely at ease with his surroundings. We all stared at him as if he were nuts. "My family does that all the time so if you're wondering, I'm used to it."

Suddenly, from the living room, came music blasting throughout the house. Great. Alice had put on one of her jazzy, cocktail party bands.

Heath pulled up a stool and sat comfortably beside Bella and watched me fry the asparagus. I flipped, buttered, sautéed, stirred and whipped our food into order, not saying one word. Heath was going to watch us eat this but that wasn't the problem. Where does this go once we're finished? Surely we can't digest it…

Edward answered my question. _"We're all going to have to throw it up later."_

That's just gross. I made a face, chuckling to myself as the thought of us throwing up the food we never digested into the toilets we never use.  
"What's so funny?" Heath asked.

"Nothing, just thinking of something."

I didn't say anything else. That is, until I grabbed a hot metal pan and forgot to scream. Heath jumped up as the sizzling began to sound throughout the room.

"Crap!" He yelled when I hadn't reflexively let go of the pan.

"Oh yeah!" I grumbled and, with perfect mock horror to make an actress proud, I began to curse and rant, dropping the pan (carefully on the stove so as to not damage the food), and ran to the sink. Setting my "burned" hand under cold water, I fake cried into the sink.

"_Cry more to make it more believable. Wail if you have to!"_ Edward screamed in my head.

I wailed at his command and I swore I could hear the window's crack.

"What's happened?" Carlisle ordered as he came into the kitchen.

"Nothing. Just…burned…my hand!" I moaned out in perfect exaggeration. I took it from the sink and wrapped it in a towel. Edward was quickly explaining, to fast for the humans to hear, what was really happening. Heath was holding onto my hand in the next moment, surveying it with an expression that we knew was bewilderment.

My hand was perfectly fine.

* * *

A/N: Ok just a few things. For those of you who don't know what TMI is, it is an acronym for Too Much Information. I do not own any of SM's work. And um, the "Do you want to die tonight, Sidney?" is from Scream for those of you who don't like horror. That whole movie cracks me up though when I was eight I was scared shitless. Lilly is just being scarcastic and Scream has nothing to do with vampires.


	13. Delusional Lilly

Ok so first off thanks to Joreyna who reads my stuff all the time and gives me feedback. He really doesn't have to but he does, so thanks. And secondly,

1. You know you're obsessed with twilight when you're taking an AP US history class and the acronym is APUSH and you add an L to make it read LAPUSH.

2. You know you're obsessed with twilight when you see a teacher in the hallway that looks oddly like Billy Black and you stalk him.

3. You know you're obsessed with twilight when the guy that likes you is 15, dark skinned, black hair and a tad immature and all you can think of is "JACOB BLACK!"

4. You know you're obsessed with twilight when you watch Ferris Bueler's Day Off and squeel at the sight of the Principle's name plate, **_Edward_** Rooney, though it has no relavence to the Twilight series.

and 5. You know you're obsessed with Twilight when you don't go out in the sun because you're afraid you'll sparkle. (Or you'll get a tan or you're acutely allergic to the sun, like me.)

Ok I'm done. There is more to come.

* * *

Heath's face would have been amusing had I not been stressing over the fact that he just might figure out I was not human. "How —"

"Let's get this bandaged." Carlisle interjected, taking a hold of my damaged hand and leading me off towards the hall.

"Ow." I moaned as he tightened his grip on my hand. I really was too good at being hurt.

"Sorry." He grumbled just before we left the room.

I could hear Bella shuffling about by the stove, probably picking up where I left off. She was too kind to do so and now I would have to give her something else in return that didn't require her to wear or use anything. A painting, maybe? Of Edward? Yes, that was perfect! I would paint Edward in glorious detail and make him out to the God he truly was! She would just love it!

Reality hit me once again as Carlisle closed his office door and sighed. "I should have never let Alice talk me into this."

"I'm sorry but I didn't really have a say."

"I know you didn't."

I was suddenly flaring with anger at my brothers and sisters. "This is just absurd. They know I don't like Heath in any way!"

"I know, I know. They know that too. We all just want you to experience the life you never had." Carlisle pulled out a long strip of gauze and began to wrap my fingers. "It's hard for them to watch you observe the world in silence. You barely say anything against this life of eternal hell."

I shrugged. "Possibly because I haven't lived long enough to think about it."

"You're the same age as I am and you haven't thought about it?"

"I don't remember that life. I probably won't gain consciousness of it ever again so therefore, I haven't really lived long enough."

He nodded and took in what I was saying, continuously wrapping the skin colored gauze about my arm that looked like beige wallpaper on an alabaster surface.

"Why is Heath so comfortable around us? Around me?"

It took a moment for him to respond, but he did so without any reluctance. "I think it's because of how his family behaves around him and how normal you are compared to the rest of us. You really do act like a human when you're not focused on portraying no emotion. It's fascinating for our kind to watch you and be around you. We get the entertainment of a human without wanting to kill it."

My eyebrows rose. "It."

He frowned at himself. "It's absurd to think myself amongst the humans so I must call them something."

"You were human once. And 'it' isn't even a proper name, rather just a stereotype of an inanimate object. As far as I'm concerned, they have brains." I pondered for a second. "Well most of them do."

"You're too smart for your own good."

"Thanks." I smiled comfortably and left the room.

Into the dining room I sauntered, cradling my hand as if it really were burned. The table was set, the food out on the table with everyone sitting in a random spot. Heath stood up and helped me to a chair while I avoided the amused stares of my siblings.

"I apologize, Bells. I wanted to make you the entire dinner and treat you."

"No, it's alright. I make dinner for Charlie all the time, so there's no need to worry." She gave me a kind smile, one that didn't accuse or condemn for being a "klutz".

But now my attention was on dinner and what exactly it was we would be talking about.

"How's your hand?" Edward finally asked as he pushed the food around his plate.

"Fine, fine." I ignored his question because I was suddenly aware of the food I would have to upchuck later. I stabbed my fork, something I hadn't used in so long, and awkwardly stabbed some gnocchi. It had been my favorite food when I was human, and now, it looked so disgusting. But I wanted to eat it! To taste its yummy potato/pasta ingredients. I raised it to my lips, inhaling the smell that had always brought me excitement to eat. Needless to say, my adoptive parents were Italian and the whole house was always cooking with some rich spices or pasta. I took my teeth and clamped it around the small pasta ball. The ingredients squirted into my mouth and I almost gagged. It tasted — like dirt! I prayed that it didn't taste like dirt to them because it really was despicable. I managed to swallow it down, but could feel it in my stomach just sitting there.

"This is better than any five-star restaurant I've ever been to." Heath murmured thankfully as he took another bite of the mound of food on his plate. It scared me, that mound of food. If he could eat that much tri-tip, then think of the humans he could devour in one hunt. But I was grateful that he liked it and from the looks of her face, Bella liked it too.

"Did you paint that mural?" Heath asked after he swallowed.

"Yes, I did."

"They're all so life like."

"That was the point." I whispered to myself.

"Lilly is the painter of the family." Carlisle interjected with a wry smile on his lips. "And I hear that you paint as well."

"Yes, I do landscapes and sculptures. Roman statues are my true expertise, actually. How did you know?"

Carlisle shifted in his seat slightly. "Edward told me that they ran into you at the art supply store. Your cousin was there?"

Recognition lit up over his face and he nodded. "Yeah, Melissa had come down for a visit. She wanted to check up on me and tell me that my parents were going on a year long trip to Africa."

"You're parents aren't home to take care of you."

Heath seemed to be on the defensive now, that subject being a bit touchy for him. "No, I've been on my own since the beginning of high school. My parents don't like to be around much as they are working all the time and visiting family."

"In Italy?"

We all shot Carlisle quick glances.

"…Yes?"

"What city?"

"I believe Volterra. It's a really small city, but apparently there's a whole bunch of my family just living there as if I don't exist."

"Aren't you going to visit them soon?"

"Yes, actually next November. I'm going to be a foreign exchange student, much to my parent's dismay. Uh…how do you know all of this?"

Carlisle folded his hands. "It would only make sense for you to visit them in your senior year and I myself have been to Italy. In fact I know your parents."

Heath's mouth dropped, but he quickly shut it with consternation. "You know my parents?"

"Yes, I met them just before I left here for America a few years ago. Quite extraordinary people, your parents."

"If ignorance is extraordinary."

This was becoming a conversation to tense for the dinner table and so, I announced that I would clean up. I ignored everyone's surprise and cleaned up dinner too quick for Heath to notice. He and Carlisle were having a conversation about upcoming events to take place in Italy when he visited so by the time I was done, Heath hadn't even noticed.

"Would you like me to walk you out?"

He looked about, confused as to why dinner was over so quickly. "We're fast eaters." Alice mumbled in response to his reaction.

This seemed to comfort him and so he answered my question. "Yes, please."

Heath and I scuffled to the front door and outside to greet the crisp, wet, night. "Thanks for having dinner with us."

"Thanks for inviting me."

"Heath?"

"Yeah?"

"You know nothing can come from this, right?"

He was silent.

"I mean, there is no chance of us dating."

A heavy sigh escaped from his lips. "Yeah, I know. I mean, I had hope, but I am starting to see how odd this is for you. It's almost like…like I don't fit. You have to be pale, dark, dissociable, detached and topped with a case of graceful behavior. I'm none of those things. My family is, but I'm just the odd duckling."

"Thanks for stereotyping us into damnation." I grumbled under my breath.

"But its true isn't it? You don't talk to anyone but your family or Bella —"

"Bella is family."

"Yeah, right. Other than that, you don't talk. But when you do it's so like _us_ that we're confused. You fit in with us but we can never fit in with you."

I wasn't happy about this conversation and I was going to end it quickly. "I think you should go now because you're right. You're kind will never fit in with us. Actually, it's the other way around. We will never fit in with you because we're too dark and graceful."

He walked off without another word, getting into his Rodeo and zooming off into the night.

* * *

I didn't speak to any of my family for the next three days with the exception of Bella. I was disgusted with myself for having ever let them push me into allowing Heath over for dinner. And gagging up my food into our unused toilets was just disgusting! How was I going to do that again on prom night?

My paintbrush moved with perfection across the canvas, the red-brown color of Edward's hair beginning to freckle into a likeness of messy hair. His topaz eyes were already finished, staring at me with a smile that Bella was bound to love. A knock came to my door and before I could answer, Alice came bounding in with Bella in her iron grip. Rosalie trailed faintly behind her, the sun shining down on her golden locks. I threw a sheet over the canvas right as Bella came to see what I was painting.

"What are you working on now?"

"A gift for you."

"What?!" She was freaked now, shaking her head in defiance. "I don't want anything!"

"Oh, hush Bella. It's nothing you have to show anyone, wear, spray on, or drive, so calm down. I'll have Edward nail it to your wall tonight."

"You're finished?"

"Yes, but there are a few finishing touches that need to be added."

"Can I see it?"

I sighed in frustration. "If you must." Flipping off the cover, I allowed the full force of my magical painting to work on her. I giggled to myself as she clutched the chair, needing to sit down. "Wow." Her deep brown eyes turned up to me. "I mean, really, wow. I've seen the other ones you've drawn but this one…the way he's looking it's like he's…"

"Looking at you."

"How do you get it just right?"

"Years of practice." There was a ring of depression in my voice as I said this, realizing it was probably truer than I could comprehend.

I suddenly heard an unzipping of a bag and the fluttering of a gown. There was a slight flutter and then a swift movement of material until my eyes could settle on it. My prom gown. Bella's mouth dropped open in aw, both of us speechless at the gown that was hung up on the door.

"You like it?" Alice beamed at me.

How could I not like it? It was simple and yet complimenting all the same. It was black silk with a heart shaped bodice. I went to touch it and found that there was a sheer chiffon material over the black silk. It went up over the bodice, creating a scrunched exterior and wrapped straight up over the shoulders. The bottom was lined in black silk to create a sense of flowing beauty. It was gorgeous. I glanced at the tag.

It was also Vera Wang. "Alice!" I yelped at the sight of the name.

"I knew that would get you talking!"

"If that was your sole purpose for buying this dress you are insane. Take it back!"

"Oh, just relax silly. This is prom and nothing is more important than that."

"Yeah, other than the fact that this could very well be a bridesmaid gown."

Her lips scrunched together in a tight line. "I made sure that it wasn't." A smile was soon replacing it as she pulled out something else I couldn't see until she pushed it against my stomach.

"What the hell is that?" I growled at her menacingly.

"It's a corset."

"Like 'Male Oppression of Women' corset or Victoria's Secret fake-cheap-replica of a corset?"

"It's an antique."

"Male Oppression it is then?"

She shushed me while pushing me to my bathroom, Bella trailing us in fascination. My shirt was off and on the floor, my bare top exposed to the world. "Alice!" I yelped again in utter terror.

"Really, Lilly, you need to not be such a prude. We're all ladies and besides, you're wearing a bra."

I scowled at her, moping my way to the screen where my bra was snapped off. "I don't see why I need one of these anyways. I am skinny enough to fit into that."

"That dress is one size smaller."

"Was it the only one they had?"

"No, but the dress requires that you wear one."

"I don't have large breasts so it's a moot point."

"That is _exactly _why I bought one. In fact, you're whole dress revolves around that point. And, you're using something if you haven't realized you're about a B."

I groaned. "Can we please not talk about this in front of the H-U-M-A-N?"

She laughed and I could just hear Bella laughing herself. "Oh, please Lills it's not like we're talking about immortal pleasures or," she had begun tying at this point and I was now being pulled this way and that, "the infamous venom issue."

"Venom issue?"

"Um…we'll talk later."

She was finished so fast I didn't even have time to take note of what she was doing. I stepped out behind the screen to look at myself in the mirror. Whatever hourglass figure I had was now more defined. I was a triangle on top and a world of hips at the bottom cut in half by a pinched middle.

"Alice, I look like I belong in the brothels of Paris."

"Well, duh. But once you put the dress over it, you won't look so bad."

"But I'll still look bad."

Bella came to my rescue this time, knowing all too well the dangers of Alice's determination. "You will look beautiful."

"Thank you, Bella."

"Anytime."

Just then, a knock came at the door and with it Edward's voice. Alice already had me draped in a silk robe as Edward sauntered in. "There you are."

"You never have to look for me. Just follow the smell." Bella chuckled to herself while being pulled up into Edward's chest. I pressed the silk fabric tighter about my body while cloaking the previous images of me in a corset from Edward. That was just weird and I would be beyond embarrassed if he saw that.

"I saw the gown. Nice dress, but Alice did you really have to do something so chic? How about more messy and urban?"

"She's already a mess as it is. This will be her one night to be normal."

"Thanks Alice." I snarled at my grinning sister.

She giggled before weaving her way out of my room, taking the gown with her so as to keep me from burning it. On her way out she yelled back to me saying, "Burn the corset and I'll buy you a tighter one!"

I screamed in my mouth quietly trying desperately not to look at Edward's face. His eyebrow rose inquisitively and opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't ask." I grumbled to myself as I disappeared behind the screen and dressed too quickly for my own personal liking. I came out fully dressed and stalked past them. "Shouldn't you be taking her home?"

"Don't take this out on Bella."

"My apologies, Bella, but I'm absolutely serious. I'm still mad at you for the whole Heath situation." To prove my point I turned up my stereo to blare some Manson over the speakers. Bella's face scrunched into dislike but I was too pissed to care.

"If I buy you your own car, will you forgive me?"

I didn't answer right away. I bit the inside of my cheek, thinking of the pros and cons. "Fine. But _I_ pick the car."

"Alright."

"I mean it. The brand, color, size, accessories, and spinners."

He held up his hand. "Hold it! I shall agree to all of those except for the spinners. That is not classy."  
"Says you."

"No spinners and you have a deal."

"Whatever." I hissed just before poking him with my superhuman strength. He poked back but it wasn't nearly as deadly as mine.

I clacked over to my painting, dabbed a few finishing touches and handed it to Edward. "For Bella. Please hang this up in her room."

"Yes, ma'am." And they were gone.

I sighed and stopped against the windowsill to watch the wind rustle against the leaves and the water ripple in the stream.

"_Lillith."_

I snapped my head up from its resting place on my arms. Had I really heard that?

"_Come to me."_

I scrambled to my feet in minutes and ran up the stairs. I threw open the door to the vacant room where my mural lay, painted forever on a wall that my family rarely saw. Across the squeaky floorboards I went to stand before the mural at the man I couldn't take my eyes away from. Had I been human, my breath would stop. I ran my pale finger down his cloak, but pulled it away as I felt the rough exterior. It didn't feel like a wall. It was real.

I shook my head, distorting the images in my eyes, but falling into my memories was irrevocable. Onto my knees I sank and in the middle of a dirt road I sat, my human breaths coming in an out with a ragged repetition. The cloak upon my shoulders fell about my body as did my hair. The snow on the ground was reflecting against something far off in the distance, something moving closer with each intake of breath. I didn't look up again until the sparkling hand was in my face. I took the hand with a heavy sigh and was crushed into the chest of my husband.

"_Can you ever forgive me?" _Corpus's voice whispered into the early morning dew.

"_Already done."_

"_The decision has been made. Tonight."_

"_Tonight."_

We crunched our boots against the snow, walking back to the large cottage that loomed in the distance. My parent's house where my brothers and sister used to play. Where the wild grasses grew up to my waist, mixing in their luxurious scents with my hair. The pond in the back where I went skinny dipping, where my mother and I used to lie out in the sun and be kissed by it. Father working in the fields alongside Patricio and Andrea. Annabelle running into the far off forest while the little girls of the village chased her. All of this I could recall but none of it no longer existed.

The bleak cottage chilled me, worse than Corpus did as we lay together in the castle. They were all gone now, gone with the plague. I began to weep fresh tears when I recalled how I held my sister's lifeless body in my hands, begging her to come back to me. She was so young, so restless to see the world. Her dark curls of an Italian beauty slipping past my fingers and pressing into my lips as I kissed her over and over again, imploring her to come back to me. Corpus had literally torn us apart, breaking a few of her bones and some of mine. But, if he hadn't, I would have become sick as well and died. He couldn't live without me, and so it was understandable.

The tears fell onto the dry soil and I realized that I didn't want to cry anymore. I didn't want to show remorse, to be weak at the loss of my family. _"Corpus."_

"_Lillith."_

His teeth did as I had commanded them to. Into my flesh they sank, ripping the skin to reveal my red blood, the pure blood of an Italian lady. I screamed, but no one would hear me. Everyone I knew was dead. Corpus and I were the only ones who had survived and we would survive forever, together. The fire that I was immersed into was nothing short of terrorizing. Days, weeks, months, it seemed that my insides were to give way any moment to becoming a burnt loaf of skin and hair.

But that never happened. And as I opened my vampire eyes, I saw the mistake at once. Foolish, foolish girl! Trading your life so as to never cry again!

But I had always been foolish, always doing something childish and driving my loved ones to the ends of their nerves. I looked up into Corpus' red eyes that flickered with a flame he always had when looking at me.

"_Kiss me."_

He leaned down, despite the worry in his eyes for me, and touched his lips to mine. I moaned slightly in pain, and his lips were respondent to comfort me. I wanted more than anything to belong in his world, to be part of that dark world. I brushed my fingers against his pale cheekbone and ran them against his bruised eyes.

"_I love you, Lilly."_ His voice was magic; playing on my ears like it owned them.

It was terribly difficult to tell speak, but speak I did. _"And I love you."_

My eyes fluttered open and the room was still there.

"No!" I reached my fingers out to mural, finding no Corpus in it. I scanned the mural again and again, but he didn't exist. He had vanished as if he were nothing! I ran to the wall and cling to it, a poor little child holding onto its mother. "Come back, Corpus!" I whispered in a chocked sob. Hours passed, night became morning and school had started.

I heard noises downstairs, a TV being turned on and voices. Home. I was home. But I wasn't myself anymore. I had to tell Carlisle, now! I sprang from my rooted place in the floor and scrambled down the stairs, toppling over Alice in a most ungraceful way.

"I saw it!" She yelled at me as I continued to make my way to Carlisle. I had drawn attention now, but that didn't matter. I had to tell Carlisle. What time was it? Was he even home?

Just then, the garage door sounded along with the rain and in came Carlisle. I pounced on him with full force, making him sit down in a chair, clutching into his coat lapel without noticing that I was tearing it into shreds. "I'm sure of it. I was reincarnated."

Carlisle took his hand and wrapped it around mine, loosening each pale finger with a force that matched mine. But I wasn't gripping with full force. I was still conscious enough to be aware of that minor detail. "Lilly?"

"Sorry." I shoved my hands into my jean pockets where they would remain to do no harm.

"Care to tell me about what you saw?"

I nodded, feeling a bit annoying to my father. "I was on a road, and there was Corpus and — he was so handsome! We walked to my old family cottage in Bartelona and —"

"Bartelona? As in the buried-underneath-twelve-feet-of dirt-for-two-hundred-years city?"

"Yes, but besides that I remembered my mother. My _mother_, Carlisle! I look just like her only I have a more defined jaw. My father, brothers and sister! They all existed! I wasn't made in a test tube; I was real. I had a family, I had a life and I married Corpus." Carlisle and my entire family were watching me pass back and forth in front of them with fascination and horror. "I don't know the entire details of why I love him or why I married him but it happened! And he changed me right there! Right there on the field! I was in the worst pain of my life but everything was alright because he was there right beside me. He held me…he's real. He's not just a painting. Corpus Vespacelli actually exists."

I took in a breath and lifted my eyes to their's. Their mouths were clamped shut and worrying about my mental health. Bella was the only one observing me with aw.

"Well," Carlisle stood, made his way towards me, and took my hand, "I think this has helped you for the worst."  
"What are you talking about? This is fantastic news!" I smiled despite the pain.

"I don't think you should go into that room again."

"You think I'm delusional."

He wouldn't meet my glower. "I don't think that's possible for our kind, but in your case…"

"I'm not, Carlisle!"

"Lilly, when I first went to the Volturi, I learned that a Lord by the name of Corpus was murdered and since then he has been nothing but a whisper in our history. I believe that you are a reincarnate of his wife and that you were married to him. But he's not real."

There was a slight pause. "Edward." Carlisle looked back at Edward only briefly and I took note of the curt nod. Edward was no longer in the room and I knew exactly what he meant to do.

I nodded violently before trying to make a run for it towards the stairs. But the arms that held me were breakable and I couldn't allow them to suffer because I suffered. Yet, that didn't stop me from dragging the person to the stairs and attempt to ascend them. The weight began to pack on as I was shoved down to the floor. "Please, Edward! Don't!" I was able to cry out before being smothered by more weight.

In seconds it was over. There were no arms except for Esme's, pulling me up into a fierce hug of motherly affection. I bounded from them, glancing at only the floor. Up the stairs and down the halls I fled until at last I came to the abandoned room where my mural was held. The door was open, the smell of fresh paint tingling in my nose. I couldn't look at it for quite some time.

A blank white wall.

The very opposite of what I stood for. My shaking hand guided its way towards the surface of its alabaster texture, gliding down in a swift motion of sadness. There was nothing on the wall but this sick, white, intoxicating paint that made me want to leave the room and never come back.

But most importantly, there was no Corpus. A choked sob came from my lips, melting into an echo that ricocheted off the walls and back into my throat. I really was crazy. Corpus couldn't exist. He shouldn't exist. We all shouldn't exist.

I closed the door and broke the doorknob so that it was jammed, never to open again. Sticking out my chin, I calmly made my way to my room and balled up on my comforter, the rain pattering gently against the glass.

* * *

A/N: I didn't use old english when Lilly and Corpus are conversing because quite frankly it sounded silly when I read it outloud. And I apologize for the length of this chapter, I just couldn't contain myself! Oh and I would appreciate more reviews, please. See, I used the magic word so that should get me something...right? Right?


	14. Dreams

Ok this one so much shorter than the other ones. Thank you readers and reviewers "Vilofied, Talia.Toadette, and superdani152003". Thanks Joreyna! Oh and superdani152003, be patient and your wishes will come true winks.

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when:

1) You're most played song on your ipod is Claire de Lune. (No joke mine has been played 2171 times.)

2) When you go to take your SAT's and the high school's mascot is "The Wolf Pack" and you start tripping and looking over your back to make sure you're not being followed.

3) You're staring blankly at a colorful wall made of people's names after you've taken section 6 of your SATs and you realize, with much indignation, that you're glaring at one that reads "EDWARD".

4) You circle the word "Alaska" in your SAT book a gadzillion times, tearing the paper.

I'm am not kidding. All of these things happened to me in like, two days. And yes, I just took the SATs and for all of you who haven't yet...look over some books because you won't know what the hell they are talking about. Thank god my cousin let me borrow her books.

Alright I also apologize for the lateness of this chappie and the shortness but my life has been one crowded pack of poo. So thanks for understanding, love you all, and kisses.

* * *

"Heath is here! And my God is he handsome!" Alice burst into my room with her joyous news.

But it wasn't joyous. How many hours would I have to spend with him? It was six and the dance wasn't until eight and that didn't end until twelve. Six whole hours with Heath. Kill me.

My hair was curled, my corset and gown in place and my shoes strapped on. Alice was awing me and Rosalie was putting the finishing touches on my face. Bella and Edward were no where in sight seeing as she couldn't know we were all going to prom, including her. I was quite close to telling Bella until Edward took me to the car dealership and bought me my all black, convertible, window tinted, and NASCAR speeding BMW Series 1. After that, I didn't say a word about it.

Besides, Edward was buying me a car because he felt guilty about painting over my mural. He apologized, but I stopped him from groveling at my feet. That would have just been cruel.

I hadn't stopped thinking about Corpus because I knew he was real. How else could I have felt something so deep within me at a mere memory? I was more aggravated beyond belief at my family and refused to be around them for the remaining two weeks until Prom. Even at school I avoided them and sat with Heath and his friends at their table. I would show them one day that he existed and that I was married to the God of my dreams.

"There, you're all set." Alice beamed at me.

I looked at myself in the mirror though I hated to do so. Not bad. I looked somewhat mortal though my skin was sparkling in the retreating sunlight.

"You have to hurry. Edward will be bringing Bella in ten minutes."

"The sunlight Alice!" I was now worried that she would expose me to Heath, but I was more distressed over him finding me being a sparkling stick normal.

But before I could give it a second thought, she was flinging a large black cloak over my shoulder, tying it and placing the hood over my hair. I looked like an elf.

"Alright, you should be fine." She dragged me out the door and took me to the stairs. Fortunately there was no sunlight, so I glided down the stairs, my hands on my hips to hold back my cloak and made my grand appearance. Heath's mouth dropped, but he could have been fixing his jaw.

However gorgeous I might have appeared to him, he was the devil. All black suit that fit him to the T and black converse. He even had coattails on his jacket. How absolutely and utterly adorable.

He held out the bouquet of black lilies which I took with some excitement. "Esme, could you please put these in my room?"

I peeked up at my mother's expression. She was elated. "Of course, dear." The flowers were gone and now it was just us in our awkward silence.

"You two have a nice time." Carlisle whipped out the camera and snapped off a few rounds until he was satisfied.

Out the door we went and to the limousine. I acted surprised at it when I had expected it all along, but for his sake I would pretend as if this was a big deal. That what any normal person would do, right?

Inside were a long stretch of seating and champagne, wine, and numerous kinds of beer. This was going to get interesting.

"I paid the driver for his silence on the alcohol. I didn't know if you wanted to have a few glasses of wine or get totally drunk off your ass."

"I would really rather not."

He nodded, the car giving a heave to signal our departure. "I thought you might want to loosen up so that being with me wouldn't be so hard."

Damn him; making me feel all guilty. "I don't find being around you hard or uncomfortable."

"I know that you're intent on only thinking of me as a friend, but you could act happy, nice, warm, excited and uninhibited just this once, you know."

I supposed I could. We could have a nice time if I wasn't so worried about me killing him or him falling in love with me. So, I decided I would be relaxed and have a nice time. A nice _human_ experience, just this once. I reached over and took hold of the champagne. I popped it open and poured us two glasses of the harmful toxins and clanked glasses with him.

"To us, for being completely normal people being stuck in a normal town."

I laughed at this but took a swig all the same, this time keeping myself from gagging.

"You look gorgeous." Heath grinned at me, giving me an eye over.

"Thank you." I laughed to myself. "And you look very handsome."

He brushed his shoulders off and straightened his tie in a sarcastic manner. "Why, thank you, Miss. Cullen."

The limo soon pulled up to an Italian restaurant. I ignored the irony of it all because at that moment I realized that this was my first time in a restaurant with other humans while being immortal. I was nervous as to the reaction I would receive from these people, but none of it could compare to what actually happened.

We walked in, my arm linked in his and all the people waiting inside looked up. They were curious, like everyone was when someone new entered a building, but instead of looking back down or continuing their conversations, they remained staring at us. The host, who was not much older than I was, gave me one look, grabbed two menus and led us to the back. I wasn't sure if it was because Heath had reserved a room earlier or if it was because he liked what he saw. People stared up from their dinners to watch us be guided through the endless candlelit tables towards the stairs that led upwards to the second floor.

This floor was for the people that were wealthier than the average of Fork's income put together. The moviemakers, actors, composers, CEO's, executives, entrepreneurs, self invested businessmen, descendants of royal bloodlines were all there on the second floor. It would have surprised me if they didn't look up, seeing as there were plenty of beautiful women in the room. Many, of which, deserved the titles of goddess. And yet they all turned around to watch us take our seats in a booth shrouded by silken drapes. The host pulled the drapes closed and the faces disappeared only to leave the host, Heath and I to ourselves.

"Welcome to _Beau Soir_. Your server will be with you in just a moment."

We were handed two menus which were bound in perfectly faded leather with _Beau Soir _written in elegant cursive on the front. Inside were the usual and the unusual foods. Heath seemed to have eaten here once or twice because he pointed things out to me that were "scrumptious". Frankly, I would have been happy to go to a normal restaurant but with Heath, it didn't seem right. He was what I would have called a "rich kid", spoiled in all the luxury money could buy. Sure, I was spoiled too. But he could have taken me to a Burger King and I would have been happy. That was the difference.

"Good evening. My name is Kristy and I will be your server tonight. Let's start with the drinks. Tonight, we are offering our customer's personal favorite, a dry martini with imported Italian green olives as well as other assortment of drinks. Tonight's specialty is the Filet Mignon with our freshly made peppercorn sauce topped with mint leaves."

We both took in what she said, Heath acting calm and serene as if the waitress offering booze didn't bother him, though we were clearly under age.

"What would you like, dear?"

My tongue almost rolled out of my mouth but I was able to keep it in tact. With a smile that stunned her, I answered. "I'll have the martini and Filet Mignon."

Kristy looked to Heath. "I'll have the same."

She nodded, took our menus and promptly left us to ourselves. Heath turned himself to me and watched me reread the wine menu in an awkward tension.

"Can I tell you a secret?"

Uh-oh. "Depends on the secret."

I inhaled breath sarcastically and pushed his hand against his forehead. Unfortunately, I laughed. "You are so cruel."

"Alright, fine, tell me."

He wasted no time. "I have been having weird dreams."

"We all have weird dreams."

"Yeah, but you're in them."

He had no caught my attention. This could have been some sick ploy to hit on me or it could have been something important. "Go on."

He seemed relieved that I was taking him seriously. "The dream starts out that I'm walking through the woods carrying a burning torch and…I'm not human. There's something different about me. I can hear the heartbeats of things around me, and I can hear your voice though miles off. You sound like your crying, but it's a choked cry." He took a pause. "Am I scaring you?"

I leaned in closer. "No, nothing scares me. Keep going."

"Right." He peered at my face for only a second before continuing. "I come upon you and you're on the ground, in a heap shaking violently, begging to die."

I had moved even closer, every word he was said pouring over my soul. I could see it as he spoke and I could remember it. Our faces were inches from each other as he continued. "You look up at me, your eyes rimmed in red and your hair disarrayed. You wrap your arms around my feet and beg for me to burn you. I deny you the request, but you have me on the ground suddenly and your nose is touching mine. I can't describe the sensation that washes through me at this and then, you're taking my hand and forcing it towards your hair. Then, you light up, like some ball of fire and as I'm watching you burn, you're screaming and screaming and all the world can hear it. There are hoof beats and then —"

He stopped.

Our noses were touching. I felt as if my eyes were popping out of my head. "And then?"

"It all goes blank." He shook his head in exasperation. "I am completely insane. Forgive me."

"No, no! I believe you!"

"Yes, I know you believe me because you like that morbid stuff but…really Lilly. Doesn't that scare you at all? That I kill you?"

"Actually, I kill myself. You're just holding the torch."

"Yeah but — my God! You die in my dreams."

The curtains flipped back and Kristy came to deliver our martinis, not once faltering at the sight of our closeness. I snapped back into my original position and took the martini, careful to only take a few sips at a time. But, all the while I was thinking of Heath's words and what they meant to me. Heath was here in Forks for a reason and liked me for a reason. There was something ancient about our connection and I presumed that, for a time, I had loved him. Whatever it was, I was going to find out.

* * *

The dance had already kicked off when Heath and I made our grand appearance. Eyes were on us, but I wasn't paying attention. All of my focus was going to my brain where I was careful to keep my thoughts from exploding as I spotted Edward across the way by himself. I traced his intent stare across the floor to where Bella was dancing with a tan skinned, black haired boy. Keeping in my laughter, we made our way over to him.

"Did you have a nice dinner?" He asked, not removing his eyes from Bella. He was only half interested. If I allowed him to see my thoughts, I would have had his full attention. \

"Fabulous." Heath snickered to himself at the recollection of our dinner. "Lilly was asked to be the heroine of an upcoming movie."

"Did you accept?"

"No, but I was about to make her."

"I would prefer it if I wasn't. Besides, I wouldn't want that lifestyle, it's two faced."

"As you wish. Let's dance."

And into the sea of human bodies we went to dance the night away with my mind in a far place called Bartelona.


	15. Evidence

Thanks "Vilofied, Joreyna and superdani152003, and Talia.Toadette" for all of your kind reviews. You are VAMPTASTIC as nomoremarbles puts it. Check her out on Youtube she is amazing. onto further and amazing news...

TODAY IS TWILIGHT DAY. Why? Why is it twilight today? I'LL TELL YOU WHY. Because today, i swear to baby jesus and all his wonderful blessings, that twilight was stalking me. it's not just obsession here people. It's freaking ridiculous how attentive I am to everything twilight. So, to start off my day, I'm sitting in the library for my Ap US History (no LAPUSH this time, sorry) test and the proctor is telling us how to fill in the letters. "H as in Henry. Z as in Zebra. Bla bla bla." And then, out of no where "E as in Edward." Not good when you have your closest Twilight fanatic friend sitting right next to u. We kind of flipped out. Then, she was calling more letters. Not two minutes later "R as in Robert." Ok, not something to flip about? WRONG. In an hour it's break and Pannn ( long story but thats her nicky) and I are flipping through TIME magazine and pointing out people that could be "Emily" or "Charlie" or "Jacob" and we turn to this page and wham there's this picture of a pale looking person, like a vamp. We read the title. "Next J.K. Rowling?" Next headline "Stephenie Meyer bla bla vamptastic bla bla fricken amazing bla bla..." We tweeked. We were about to cry. Why? Because that is completly unexpected. It doesn't end there my friends, it just doesn't end.

So I'm on my way home with my pop and he opens the garage and there, in my garage, is a S60 Volvo in plain sight. I stared. I glared. I might have even drooled. Ok, so it was black and not silver, but HELLO? R u kidding me with this? Ok, sure it was my neighbors and my dad was only polishing it but still. Why, baby jesus, must you torment me with things I can't have. So, on the way to pick up some baby things with my mother, guess what song comes on? Starlight by Muse. What the fresh hell is going on? So, I'm singing along to it and SHAZAM! Along comes Mr. Volvo in silver form and I twitched. Mum was staring at me like a freak. Pull into VG parking lot and KABLAM! The same Volvo that is in the movie was right there. I almost wet myself. I seriously was about to urinate. (Ok not really cuz thats kinda gross.)

So, today is TWILIGHT DAY for me because about every three hours there is something twilight. Oh, and guess what random song just started to play on iTunes. Yep. You guessed it. Claire de Lune. Someone shoot me.

No, don't because then I wouldn't be able to read BD or see the movie. I think I'll just get some Zzzz's then. Night night.

TOMORROW I GET MY COPY OF THE HOST! Has anyone read it yet? Did you like it?

* * *

Heath and I stood on the front steps of my house, glaring at each other.

Before I could turn towards the door and leave him in the darkness, he spoke. "Either you're afraid of commitment, or you have something you're hiding from me."

"Don't do this Heath. Don't get mad because I wouldn't kiss you."

"That's not the point!" He was more flared up than I could have ever imagined. His face was red and his hands were shaking in anger. I wanted to place my chilled hands on his face to calm him down, but he would only take that the wrong way.

"Then what is?"

"The point is that we match, you and me. It's like a magnetic force and you're resisting."

"You're too persistent."

"No, I'm perfectly normal. You're the one with problems. You are possibly the coldest woman anyone could have ever asked for."

Now I was becoming more ticked with the seconds that passed between us. "I am not! Just to you because you won't bugger off!"

"Is that what you want? For me to leave you alone?"

I sighed. This tension was only going to make things worse. "Heath, I want us to be friends and if you can't deal with that, then there is no use in trying."

His anger dropped suddenly and he was now staring at the stars with a fixed fascination. "You aren't dating anyone and neither am I. You could give this a chance quite easily. But, since you aren't, that gives me a reason to believe that there is someone else."

I didn't say anything. Who would believe me being in love with a man named "Corpus"? I had to give him a different name…one that wasn't so odd and outdated.

"Yes, there is."

"You could have just said that in the first place." He was quite for a moment, listening to the breeze that fluttered through the trees and tossed my hair to the right. "What's his name?"

I had the name ready as he said it. "Aiden." That wasn't much better than Corpus but it was a significant difference in eras.

"He doesn't go to our school."

"No."

"Lives in the city?"

"No."

"State?"

"No."

"Country."

"No."

"Does he even exist?"

"Yes."

He shook his head. "You're not lying, that's for sure. But that is just weird."

"Oh, really? Well, I don't see you with your soul mate so you shouldn't even talk."

He laughed then, a deep throated laugh of pure human angst, something I would never have again. "Of course not, she won't have me."

I shook my head and turned to go. His feeble attempt to hold onto me was sad, really. "Go home, Heath."

"Don't worry, I will. I leave for Italy in two days."

That caught my attention at once. "What?" I was now facing him, fear emanating through my pores.

"My parents asked if I wanted to be an exchange student early."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He stared down into my eyes as if he wanted to brush the hair from my face. He didn't, thank god. I don't think I could stand containing my guilt if he did that. I would be guiltier than Edward was about stealing away Bella's life. Which, by the way, was completely stupid and I was going to have to duff him up a bit for it. "Because I wanted to see if this was going to go anywhere. But now that I see it's a waste of time, I'm going."

I was the one to grab onto him this time, careful not to crush his arms. "Listen to me, Heath. You can't go there. Don't go to them. Don't go to Volterra."

"Why, so you can keep me in suffering all summer? No thanks."

Now was the time to dazzle him, as Bella called it. I let the full force of my eyes hit him and he wasn't breathing as I spoke to him. "You can not go to Italy. Stay away from there."

He didn't utter a sound as my fingers tightened. His thoughts were racing but his facial expression didn't change. "I have to." He spoke at long last, but not the words I wanted to hear.

It took me a moment to realize he was rushing towards his car. Heath's face was pale, like mine, and it was then that I realized how frightened he was. Not because of my strength or the nature of my eyes, but because even I knew that going to Italy was a bad idea, a very bad idea.

* * *

In the guiltiest of manners, I stumbled into the house. They all had been listening to my conversation and now I was to pay for it, though I had no idea why. I couldn't bring my eyes to theirs as my hands slapped to my face. I wanted to cry. I just fed Heath to the vampires, metaphorically speaking. I could have, should have, would have stopped him had I the selflessness of my family.

"How could you do that, Lilly?" It was Esme's voice that first came to my ears. "He's going to be changed and no one will be there to comfort him."

"He will have his family." I grumbled to myself more than to them, but they still heard.

"He hates his family, if you haven't noticed."

"I have."

"Yet, if he were to have you around, to guide him, then this change would make it easier for him."

Why did they care so much?

"Because you would want the same." That time Edward's voice was audible over the din.

I nodded, but was still going to be stubborn. "He's to persistent, cocky, pompous and—"

"Not corpus."

The tensions that would have existed in a normal family were absent due to Jasper's calming signals he was sending us. I refused to answer though as Edward probably already knew the truth and was telling Carlisle.

Carlisle was watching me with an unfathomable expression. "That's very selfish, Lilly."

"I'm sorry I cannot be as selfless as you all are." I'd had enough of this conversation.

Upstairs I went, ignoring every stare and glare I received, knowing all too well that they were right and I was wrong.

* * *

Summer. It was tedious at this time of year and I was awfully bored. I had ceased to paint, finding my creativity run dry because all I wanted to paint was one person. Yet I knew what torment that would bring me and Alice would just take it away anyways. I understood that it was for my own good, to keep me from going mad and leaving them at the earliest convenience, but it still ticked me off that they would stop me from even thinking of him.

"I swear I'm becoming a homosexual with all of the NC-17 thoughts racing through your head!" Edward had yelled at me one morning while the whole house was just rising from their silent reminiscing.

"Then stay out of my head!" I yelled back as I threw a pillow at him.

My thoughts were _not_ NC-17, but rather a simple, chaste kiss of love and devotion that every man should give his wife. But it was the repetition of that thought that bothered Edward.

Without my awareness, I began to think back upon the life I once had. I had never really had the time to think about it, or to hate my family as it was. But, now that time was ever more present in my life, the thoughts tumbled over. There were plenty of things I hadn't thought about in two years and it was time to think about them. I had the time and so I was going to.

Just not while Edward was listening.

"I'm curious." Was his only answer when I caught him tuning into "my mind" signal. It didn't help that Bella wanted to know as well, she was just afraid to ask.

"It's too personal."

"We won't ask questions. Just tell us."

"I can only tell you about my human existence, nothing more."

"Works for us."

I wondered for a brief moment why Edward wanted to know so bad when I realized that he had always been curious. He had just never found the right time to ask me or possibly he was afraid of the consequences of asking such a question. I led them over to my couch, letting Bella get comfortable in Edward's lap before beginning. I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't as Bella's blood was distracting me. What fresh hell? That never happened before.

"What is it?" Edward was suddenly alert, glancing from me to Bella with concern.

I reached behind me and grabbed a box of chocolates that I had bought for examination earlier in the week. (Eating food and then throwing it up later had caught my dubious fascination and I was curious as to the variations of the dirt tasting chocolates since Prom.) I handed them to her and without a word she began to eat them.

Concentration was back on task and I was ready to begin. "My mother is not really my mother. She is my adoptive mother."

"I believe you mentioned it once or twice."

"Yes, well I can't remember."

"Which is odd because you should; seeing as you can recall glimpses from 1554."

"I am two seconds away from beating you over the head with a chair."

He stifled his laugh and so did Bella. Why was I the source of entertainment all of a sudden? Shouldn't I hate them right now?

"Carry on. I promise not to interrupt."

I glowered for only a second before carrying on as he wished. "Where to begin? Oh yes, before I do, please do not think me a whiner because of my crap childhood. As I said before, I was a mistake. Not in the usual 'Oops, we got pregnant' sense. More of the 'Let's adopt because I want to retain my slim figure'. It's probably more common in this era, but I now believe it wasn't just a trend Gloria went through. It was her own selfish nature, her own selfishness that made her adopt me. Why adopt me? That is the one thing I cannot figure out about her character. I wasn't a pretty child nor am I pretty like Rosalie is now. You see, Gloria was a model, and what a success she was. But, the only thing that could have led her to a plain thing like me was because I offered a normal and stable life. George was the first step. The perfect husband to her perfect little life. I was the next, but her figure was of the utmost importance. I can still see her today, that small waist and powerful legs that push off the ground with little knowledge of gravity.

George was a man of good qualities but distant, reserved, cold. I remember quite well how he would only watch me do things and never question my train of action. But, enough of them. Onto my childhood."

Bella took a bite of chocolate and sighed in satisfaction. Could it be that I found her weakness? Chocolate? "Do you like chocolate, Bells?"

"No, I like listening to you speak."

Not surprising in the least. Plain Bella and her indecipherable fascinations. "Oh, well then I shall carry on. I was a disappointment as I grew up. I wasn't one for bows or flower dresses. I wanted to be a boy. I wanted to wear jeans and t-shirts, even coming so close as cutting all of my hair off." At this, Bella crinkled her nose. "I never did, as you can tell." I took a hold of my hair and ran my fingers through, all the way down to the very ends where they slightly curled. "I took ballet and failed at it. I took beauty school courses and failed at that. The one thing that I was excellent at was etiquette and I can see that that makes sense because of what I am. What I truly am."

"What are you?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "A reincarnation of an ancient lady from the city of Bartelona."

Bella looked as if she didn't believe me. No one believed me. But that was the many pleasures of having time on one's hands because then they can remember exactly where they put the evidence. "Moving on. It wasn't until High School that I realized my parents despise for me. I was aggressive, anxious to destroy and impossible to contain in one spot. My childhood vigor was marked by incalculable inquisition of my own strength. I showed it to you Edward and I also described some of my high school years. It wasn't until the Institution that I learned to control it."

"What was the Institution exactly?" Edward was now serious, his eyes watching my every fidget.

I flicked my hair back. This was going to be a tough one to answer. "It was — a government funded medical program for those of — unique abilities." He nodded but I was almost positive he wasn't going to speak, so I went on. "I hated my parents for what they did…and my poor sister."

Bella and Edward's eyebrows both rose in shock. "Sister?"

"Yes. Gloria finally decided she wanted one of her own in the natural way. I was eleven when she had this decision and completely aware of her motives behind it. She wanted something to claim as her own, something that wasn't messed up. Don't get me wrong, I was cared for as much as a human could be. Fed, clothed in nice brands, and had a room to myself. I didn't ask for anything and they didn't ask for anything back. It was a mutual contract…until they sent me away. The incidents were attracting far too much attention." I small smirk played on my lips and I must have looked positively evil. "After my 'death', I didn't think about them and so that is why I am going to pay them a little visit."

Edward was clenching his fists by the time I revealed this little decision of mine. He wasn't mad that I was leaving, rather mad at the thought of me making a quick one so that he couldn't hear it in my thoughts. Neither could Alice for that matter but I was sure the whole world of vampires knew by now.

"You're 'death'? A visit?"

"I was purposefully killed but by whose command I know not of. And yes, a little visit to retrieve a few items that I am missing."

"Like? We have given you everything you would want."

"You cannot give me what I once had, Edward. I cherish my human existence because I can remember it the most. Though as impecunious as it was, it is still a memory worth keeping."

He said nothing at this.

And so, with my boredom and extreme agitation, I packed my bags and loaded up my BMW. Esme and Alice were blocking my way at the front door and Rosalie was already taking apart the engine as I forced through them with the strength I had never used on them.

"I'm coming back, I promise. There are just some things I need to see before I push them aside and never think of them again."

"Like what?" Esme cried, taking my hand with her begging. "You don't have to do anything! You can stay here, with us and just be happy!"

"I am happy, Esme. I just have to check up on something."

She didn't respond.

"At least stay within the country." Alice grumbled to me. Rosalie looked at me and then began to assemble my car once again.

"I will stay within the state. Better? Edward will explain."

They both nodded and I, without any hesitation, hopped into my car and drove off down south. Little to their knowledge or to Edward's, I kept what happened at the Institution a secret because what happened there was something I couldn't let them see or read or hear. If they knew that I had killed someone—I wouldn't want them to think of me as a killer. I wasn't a killer. It was an accident. Besides, they sent me on the mission and it wasn't my fault if he wanted to shoot me though authorized otherwise. Alas, I shoved it from my thoughts once again and sighed heavily, my life beginning to weigh down upon my shoulders.

* * *

My house was more suburban and lovely than I had remembered it. The white picket fence, the porch with Colonial columns, the red roses and ivy that grew along the walls and the purple shutters on each window, and the lacy curtains that my adoptive mother had loved so much.

Kira was playing in the front yard with a girl from across the street, her brown hair flapping in the wind as they chased each other. That was what I had wanted to see. She was nine now and more than capable of comprehending my "death". As I watched from my tinted windows, I heard her giggle and that sound rang in my ears with a tender longing.

George and Gloria appeared then and from what I could tell, she was pregnant. Out with the old, in with the new…or so they say. George's hair was graying, but he was still as handsome as the day they unwillingly adopted me. Gloria looked like the perfect mother as she brushed off Kira's dress. They were happy. The perfect family.

And then Kira's eyes went upward towards my car and stared at it for quite some time as if she could see through the windows. Maybe if she stared hard enough, she would see me and know that it was all a lie. That I didn't die. I was still alive and would forever be alive.

"What is it, honey?" Gloria asked just before her eyes came up to the car window.

But I was already speeding off into the oncoming night.

I rented a hotel room outside of town where no one knew my face. I would happen upon an old classmate once in a while and thank god that they didn't recognize me. However, I couldn't hold in my laughter as I found that most of them were married with children, balding and fat. It had only been two years and already they were on the road to old age.

But, other than those small sightings, I would people watch and often it would be my own family. I watched them quietly as they went shopping together, eating together, laughing together as a family should. But at night, when everyone else was snoring, I observed the erythematic inhales and exhales of her breath keeping me by her side for hours. I could watch her forever, that spoiled little thing. For weeks I did this, promising myself that I would come back to her when the time was ready. I supposed, in a creepy way, that I was stalking my sister. But I admitted to myself that it was somewhat fun, and I would continue doing so when she grew older. The last night I watched her sleep, I remembered something that I had periodically forgotten. I stood and went down the hall, holding in my breaths as I looked at it.

My door still contained random sketches that I had drawn during my hours of boredom. The whole door was covered in them, all of various shapes and sizes and each one depicting something different. I pushed open the door and stepped inside, marveling at how depressed I was as a teen. My room was plain, but there were posters and pictures with random drawing everywhere. My black shelves held all of my small knickknacks and favorite books. I picked up my copy of Wicked Lovely and scanned through the pages. I plopped it into my bag and continued my search for the object of my desire. This room was alien to me now, not anything like how I was at that moment.

I searched for a good hour, which was ages for a mythological creature, before I found it underneath my bed surrounded by dust bunnies. I don't remember why I put it there or why I stopped wearing it, but there it was.

Lifting the box's lid sat my ancient diamond ring that I had always worn before I went to the Institute. My parents thought I had lost it, but I knew better.

I dug out the silver chain and dangled the ring before me. Then, as if there were no people within the house, I began to silently weep to myself. No tears came, but I was crying. Whoever gave me this ring, whether it was Corpus or my real parents, must have loved me. There was someone in this world that knew me as I had been in ancient times past, was in human existence, and in this new life. I missed that person and I wanted them to hold me so badly. I was a brave little soldier, always handling my new life with dignity, but I was extremely lonely.

There was a noise within the house, footsteps and whispers, but before George and Gloria could reach my room I was already heading back to Forks wearing the diamond ring about my neck.

* * *

A/N: Has anyone read Wicked Lovely? It is one of my fav series now. Nothing beats Twilight but, hello? Who doesn't love faeries? Don't answer that if you don't.


	16. Theories

This is short but its because I'm making this into a two part series (until BD comes out). It's just soo long and I needed to break it up so people wouldn't be like "What the fresh hell is she doing? I have no idea what is going on."

Thanks Joreyna. You get your own special line. Don't you feel special?

Thanks reviewers. I still haven't found a pic of what Corpus (Aiden) looks like but when I do, I shall post it up on my bio. Thanks for tuning in and switching on. Enjoy.

* * *

The air was cool, the breeze whipping through my vintage purple wind breaker as I stepped out from my BMW. Home. I recalled the words of Juno as she rubbed the flower over her impregnated stomach saying, "I never realize how much I like being home unless I've been somewhere really different for a while." It was true, in the kindest of ways. I cracked a weary smile at my house and found the lights to be on. This was where I belonged and I knew it. No matter how they tried to stop me from dwelling on my past, they knew I wouldn't leave. They were my family now.

Esme and Alice appeared in the doorway, their pale faces darkened by the night as their exterior's glowed in the light from inside. I carried my one bag up the steps and smiled at them. "I told you I would come back."

"I know." Alice whispered as she watched my face. She was half expecting me to lie about what I did.

"I went to check up on my sisters and retrieve a ring."

"All of this for a ring?"

My smile faded as I gently made my way past them into the front room. "A wedding ring."

Esme and Alice glanced at each other in suspicion. "Gloria's?"

So Edward had told them the story. I suspected he hadn't told them all of it because I had kept some things to myself, closely under guard, lock and key at all times. "No. Mine."

That freaked them out. "You were married?!"

"Is Carlisle home? I would like to speak with him."

"I'm right here."

I turned around and there was the handsome father who I had secretly missed. I gave him a grin and hugged him. Odd, because I was shy when it came to affection with him. "We need to talk." I didn't whisper it because that would have been a moot point. In a house full of vampires, nothing was kept a secret. Well, there were a few things we blocked from hearing but that was of our own choice.

He nodded and led me up the stairs to his office. It was twilight, the perfect time of evening. Carlisle sat down at his desk while I roamed about, staring longingly at his ancient paintings of era's past, a past that I too had belonged to.

"I brought evidence of Corpus's existence." I wasn't sure how he would take it, but I wasn't going to allow him to speak first. "It's not a painting or a fingerprint, but something which I'll gladly allow you to study. It's from 1555, from my wedding day."

I took off my silver chain and thrust the diamond ring towards him. He didn't speak or make a movement. He just waited for me to say what I wanted to tell him.

"Even if he doesn't exist now, he _did_ exist. I'm sure there are other things I could find by sheer memory. Love letters, gifts, and paintings. But those are not as significant as that. I am a reincarnation and I was married to Corpus Vespacelli. You see, George and Gloria's last name is Hannover. So why, after my transformation, would I change my last name. I had no reason to. I liked Hannover."

Carlisle said nothing to me for quite some time. He was observing my ring, feeling the ridges of it, weighing it in his palm, holding it up to the light and allowing its full shine to blast him. It was like looking at one of us. Sparkly, unbreakable, and cold. He stood after an hour of examination and walked over to me, still eyeing the ancient diamond with inquisition. He placed the silver chain over my head and dropping it onto my chest where it dangled and glimmered.

"Well?" I asked him as he looked up into my eyes.

"I believe you. What would an average woman such as yourself being doing with something that should be in a museum. I believe it was from him, but I don't think he exists anymore."

"Why?"

Carlisle didn't want to answer this. He was hiding his beliefs from me on purpose, to protect me. Rightly so as I was the type of person to run from a confronting situation of tension. I was impeccably afraid of the truth, though thirsting for it more than I would have if I were a human.

"I have my theories."

"And I have ears in which to hear them."

"Very well." He sat back down and I turned back to his paintings. "Edward told me that Heath kept thinking about his dreams. Every time Heath spoke, glanced, or remembered your presence, his thoughts were on your 'death'. Yes, Edward told me."

"You don't need to explain yourself. I understand why you were protecting me. You wanted me to have a simple life, to not be tormented as I had been in my human existence. Well, Carlisle, as you can see there's no danger of that. I am competent in succeeding happiness."

He seemed shocked that I had figured him out. I was oblivious to many things, but motives were something I could guess easily at. But, he was more surprised that I didn't blame him for sheltering me.

I turned to leave but words escaped his mouth before I even had the chance to reach for the door handle. "I know that you are capable of being happy. But, there are needs which you have been neglecting."

My eyebrows rose but I remained facing the door. "Needs?"

"However immortal we may be, we long for a companion."

"I have this family."

"No, Lilly. A mate."

I sucked in air at the word. _I don't want a mate. I want Corpus and if I can't have that, then I won't have anything._ "Is that another reason for making me feel guilty about Heath?"

"Yes." He didn't pause to give an excuse. "You two match and I was almost positive he would be joining this family."

"Well, he's not going to ever join this family. It's my choice, Carlisle. And if I want to be alone for the rest of my unnatural life, then so be it. I am not going to fall for another because my soul belongs to someone else."

"Corpus is dead."

"I am well aware of that." I was two seconds from breaking something. "Which is why, in memory of him, I shall keep myself chaste."

On my way out the door, I could have sworn he said something along the lines of "Not if Aro can help it", but then again us vampires chose to hear only what we wanted to hear and that was something I most definitely didn't want to hear. Because, what if he was right? I hadn't thought about Aro in months and seeing as I was protected by his coven before my death, it made sense that he would claim me. Right? Or was I wrong? Maybe he just wanted me to kill something and leave. Or maybe…just maybe…I was something much more than this unfortunate innocent. There was a greater purpose for why I was here and Aro had something to do with it.

* * *

A/N: Sorry that was really short. But there is most def more to come and I am really sorry superdani, but it's not going to be very happy. The first few chapters are dep-actually the whole flipping thing is effed up to the max. No flipping joke. But, in the end you will see why. (Besides, what's a good story without the depression? (Would New Moon be half as good as it is if Edward hadn't left? Don't think so.) I can only say this, "If you had to sacrifice anything for your love, would you do it?" Bet that gave you goosebumps. Don't lie. It did.


	17. Author's Note

I just want to inform all of you that there is a part two to Unfortunate Innocent, just in case some of you didn't notice…so go check it out.

3 Dazzled


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